Lee McCullough's Page

I went on a journey the day before last using mind altering chemicals. I'm continually pissed at myself for doing this. Whenever I do it, and the reason I do it mostly, is because I become more aware of my energy body. The experience is usually characterized by decadence and giving into temptation. Very tasty, Use your imagination. It is also, for the most part very empty and lends itself to depression. However, I can't say that I haven't come away from it with nothing positive. I don't have the… Continue

Monday represents a new beginning and I'm going to take advantage of it. As fitness is one of my goals this season I am going to adhere to some of my basics. Hydration, biking, swiming and smoking less. The last week has been very difficult but I am believing that this one will be better. It's taking some fight today. Upon waking up I didn't want to do anything but I biked down to the hospital for a blood draw and got my body moving. At 11:30 I'm going to hit the pool. Also changed my focus from… Continue

Not inspired to write a blog today because I'm feeling like shit. Had a dream about Debbie Ford, whom I've just become interested in, invited me to lunch. In the dream it made me want to cry cause I couldn't believe Debbie Ford was inviting me to lunch. She said anytime. Dreamt strangely all night. I'm beginning to think I"m real fucking lonely. A bunch of bullshit has it's hooks in me at the moment which I won't go into at the moment. I''d prefer to let it go but am finding this difficult as us… Continue

Argh. Hitting it a little too hard the last couple of days relative to the intoxicants. Cleaned my house and did the dishes this morning though which is my first line of attack in returning to path. Don't feel like blogging but another tool to put me back into my vision. My distant vision unclear. Fun is integral. I don't mean getting fucked up. Just can't turn change into something mechanical. The end is inherent in the means. My tendency after slipping up a bit is to be self punishing and reac… Continue

The less I talk about the glory of descending doves and the blind purity of honey bees the more responses I seem to get and this makes me happy. We're I to talk about these things at this point in my life as if they were a reflection of my inner world the more of a bullshit artist I would be. I'm fucking pissed and extemely uncomfortable with it but can't imagine moving foreward pretending angels hover about me and I'm about to take the fucking torch from Ghandi. Ghandi is good. Angels are good.… Continue