Day 73 100 Day Challenge - Admitting the Truth
Inspired by Lilou and also one of her interviews with Topher Morrison about being honest, and getting real. I have to admit there are things in my life that are not making me feel good. I have received a lot of manifestations but at the same time there are other aspects of my life that are still not so good. Sometimes we can feel shameful about having problems in certain parts of our lives because they are private and we don't want people to scrutinize them and see us as failures. We are taught in our culture that if we have money problems we should be ashamed of ourselves. I know for myself, my mother has definitely made me feel this way over the years about my money problems.
I am still trying to recover from a period of about 8-9 months of serious work slow down that broke my income practically to a screeching halt and resulted in an eviction notice. A lot of my financial problems go back as far as 2007 when I purchased my car and then the economy started to make it's slow descent into hell. At the time I didn't know what was going on but for someone who was self employed on the internet, I saw a drastic decrease in my client base and income. As a result, my credit report took a serious beating and assessing that has shown me that there is a lot of work ahead and cleaning that up and making it all right again. That is going to be a long process and a daunting one because there are several bills that have three and four negative marks on them from different collection companies. So at this point, I don't even know HOW to start nor who to start with. It's just ridiculous. Then there is also the IRS that I have to take care of lol. In April of this year I started rebounding but I'm still trying to play catch up with my rent and other bills so that I can finally be free to move forward again. Once I pay them off then I can start with paying down my tax debt and then tackle the next problem till that's cleared up too.
Once I dig out of all of this, THEN I can see where I'm going and make my plans to make my moves to where I want to go. But this was just me talking about all of the frustration that goes with everything. I think finally really letting this register that I think thoughts that don't really make me feel good about my current situation helped me to see that I'm not really feeling good about my financial health.
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Comment by Trish Vidal on July 21, 2009 at 8:25pm - You're going to be just fine. I sense that you're angry and frustrated because things are not progressing as quickly as you would have hoped, however, they are progressing and things are getting better, so just focus on that part and trust that the rest will work out.
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Comment by Nicole on July 17, 2009 at 6:09pm - createfate thank you. Yea it really comes down to being honest with yourself with how we feel about certain situations in our lives. Sometimes we can't just stick a happy face on it and act like everything is sunshine, roses and lollipops. When we can say hey, I've got money problems and I know I'll figure it out, it helps get rid of the shameful feelings. It did for me anyway. I'm cleaning it up, cleaning it up, cleaning it up lol
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Comment by Nicole on July 17, 2009 at 6:07pm
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Seisrush Ob,
You know when your worse fears manifest and you face them it's like a huge weight gets lifted off. You come through it still alive and kicking and still managing to make it through and that's when you know you are strong and you don't need to be afraid anymore, you can handle anything. Thank you!!
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Comment by Nicole on July 17, 2009 at 6:05pm
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Hi Nicole,
yes I love this little pond its just so quiet for when you want to be in your thoughts and be out enjoying the environment. I love water, maybe that's just the cancer trait in me but whenever I am around water I feel calm. Best part it's just under 2 miles away
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Comment by Seisrush Ob on July 16, 2009 at 1:12am -
I know where you're coming from. If someone told me to make a list of my worst fears I never would have thought that all of them would come to fruition within 2 weeks of each other. It has been the darkest, most painful time in my life. But. . .now I have nothing else to lose. All my fears have come to pass, so now I am open to begin working on my dreams again. One of the big theories in the LOA is that you have to remove the old clutter in order to bring new things into your life. So I must have some big stuff coming down the line!
I know it sucks right now but STAY STRONG!
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Comment by createfate on July 15, 2009 at 11:16pm - I can appreciate your honesty...You CAN CLEAN IT UP and HAVE the life you want...One step at a time... We always feel better when we come clean
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