Season - 1 Day 23

[Dimitra]

Funny you stay at home you think you have all the time in the world to do all the things you want to do then you finally realise that you have created a diffent routine that does nto include all you initially thought about.

I realised that even though I am enjoying staying home and being a mum, certain things have now taken second priority because I am so into the house and the work that with it.

So today I asked myself, how come now that I supposebly have all the time in the world, the things that most matter to me take second place? For example this site. How come I am not updating my blog posts ona daily basis? Am I slowly falling into a routine that it is not really me?

The past few days I found myself working on my blog and book, reading articles doing a bit of reading and then being literally a vegetable not doing anything complaining to myself that I am bored. Well why ?

This has to change, if I want my life to change and become what I want then we need mroe structure. I need to focus on the things that matter most and give priority to things that will bring me closer to my purpose. A ha, closer to what purpose?

A few months I was having a friendly inner chatter with myself as usually, and it came to me. I want to be a public speaker, a motivational talker, work for and with Dr Demartini.

I still see myself doing the above but at times I ask how, then I say it doesn't matter the way will be shown to me.

At times I feel I have made amssive progress then at times I feel I have gone back 10 steps. Harsh critic ? Yes I am, when it comes to myself and sometimes others. I am learning though - slowly - to allow things just to be.

Certain feelings are surfacing as well. I feel quite emotional and the need to cry. Unresolved issues ? Lack of faith? Not knowing where to start from?

There are so manybookson feng shui and how to de-clutter ones house but I am yet to find something something for the mind!!!

I believe my problem - or the major problem I should say - is the mind cluttering. Medidation helps of course but there has to be something else out there.

I am listening to my favourite German singer Xavier Naidoo. I have been missing Germany so much lately. When I first came back to Australia I spent the first 3 years crying and crying. There is something about that country that I feel so strongly connected to. I also feel though its not the right time to go back. Which is funny because I made a promise with a dear friend of mine that next we meet will be in 10 years at the black forrest at the annual witches meeting. I guess I just wait for another 4 and a half years : )

Past relationships - or at least one - is coming back to my mind. One that I thought I had resolved and dealt with. But you knwo what I still don't understand why. I didn't understand it then and I am still not understanding why now after 10 years.

Strange as I listen to my German CD I actually undestand more than I did when I was in Germany, ha,ha

Massive changes are coming I can just feel it, probably thats why I am feeling a little bit emotional, a bit out of my waters.

Life is wonderfull it truly is. So glad to be here, so glad to have a space I can write freely, so glatefull I am part of such a great community.

Be blessed till next time

[AUDREY]

Have you seen Alkistis TV on You Tube. She is a Greek Life Coach and is known globally. She's also in this challenge.x