Need to live my BEST Life, and Be True to Myself!! Also- then and NOW.. Feeling Over welmed/ & Tired.. Need Opprtunies, and Money

[kelly]

the last few yrs have been mainly depressing.. I try to be positive.. and my expectations have not measured up to my ideals.. I am 45,,and my self esteem is low.. I don't like how I look, or how I feel.. My job is lousy, I'm living in a sad stressful situation.. lack of friends and i am feeling more depressed and scared..
I haven't met the right guy yet, I am alone.. not much family support.. or friends..
I do have some college 3-4 years haven't graduated.. I feel homeless.. and homely and unloveable..
I also feel like the world is going to hell..
I mainly can't stand the music. it's all about 4 cars, big homes, plastic surgery and the survival of the fittest..

I remember 30 years ago.. you heard the words in music, the natural instumentals, the natural ,beautiful music
The movies are all about special affects...
the NEWS ifs Always about Negative So MUCH BULL

I want a career I love that pays well, doing work I love.. To help to Heal, to motivate ,and Inspire others
I am tired of not given a chance, I am tired of being in a job I hate, and where there is no Respect
I am tired of lack of Apartments .. Way way Way over priced
I a missad I lost My sweet Cat miss Cuddles.. I felt a little more Grounded when she was around..
I live in a constant state of Fear,anxiety...Stress

I've been trying to lose weight lost 20 pounds
I just want to live in alignment be aound healthy fun,loving, healthy, positive people.. who I respect and love and respect me back!!
To have Opportunites t ogo back and finish School, and Graduate "A" Student.. and have the money to go back to Scholl, Money
to Travel, Look Good.. as I would like to have Liposuction,Collagen in Lips, smaller nose, and Botox..
I also want long hair..
I feel so Sad..
I need True Love.. a Nice Man who Truly loves me, Respects me, Want to Dance, Travel, marries me.. and We Happily live together!!
I want Safety in this PLanet..and a Healthy Positive Environemt..
Better News, and Better Music, and TV Programs..


And I want Unity Churches ALl Over!!
God PLease Help ME.. and Help My World
I want to feel Deserving and aim towards my Higher Truth..
The World Can be GREAT.. But Change has to COME!!!
Thanks For Reading
Kelly

[Sanya]

Well, you go girl! You are feeling how you feel & honestly expressing your feelings. You are moving up the emotional scale. It is obvious from the beginning to the end of the blog, that already a small shift has occurred. Keep going. Baby steps. It doesn't all have to change overnight (but we can stay open to that possibility too), and there are days when we all feel like you do today. But I've read your blogs before & watched your videos & know that you are a truly beautiful, deep, wonderful person, with a lot of treasure within her, so I trust that this will pass & you will feel better soon. From your videos you look quite beautiful too - and in shape, so what are you saying about not looking good?! ..Anyway, you are in my prayers. May all work out perfectly & in the Highest & Best way & with Ease & Grace for you xxxx♥♥♥