Day 95 Season 4

[Carrie]

One of my big goals for myself this season was to pay off my credit cards. Well that one kind of came and went but honestly I only wrote it down and didn't do anything in energy toward creating it. It was a "set it and forget it" moment lol. So nothing has happened on that front. I don't really feel badly about it though. I still have five more days left to this challenge and technically I could sell a house and pay them off. I have an open house tomorrow so anything could happen but it would fall in after the 100 day mark. That wouldn't matter much either since it would still be a goal reached.
However, I think my point here and my lesson learned is that its great to write down these goals and to intend them but if you don't work them even just a little bit the chances are they are not going to manifest. I totally worked the broker goal and that is exactly what I got! I totally worked on listing a house and that was just handed to me. I also worked really hard the house and things lined up right off with that BUT I changed my mind. As soon as I changed my mind it all just withered. I can see very very clearly the energy exchanges that went on in this challenge for me and I am quite happy with what I learned!!
I truly believe that we have a set point with our money energy. I believe that we get ourselves into a comfort zone, even if it is an uncomfortable zone (we're still comfortable in that discomfort) and we stay there. So perhaps we toy with a certain idea of something new and then I feel that maybe we need time to first let it be a tiny tiny seed, to swell a little when we water it, then allow the tough shell to crack and ever so slowly that little sprout appears. It takes a while for it to germinate under the soil while the sprout makes it way into the LIGHT. Then once we see the light of it there is no stopping it....unless we stop watering it. Basically I held the little seeds in my hand on some financial decisions but didn't do anything with them. Perhaps I was just playing with the future crop. Who knows!
I do feel that one thing that happens to me is that I want the end result of being debt free but I don't want the journey to get there. To me that journey is painful!!!! lol....Who wants to put their extra money on a bill??? Yowch. So perhaps my goal will look differently in the next 100 days such as "create enough cash flow that all of our bills become paid easily and effortlessly, paying off the majority of our debt" Yep! That felt much better!! Thats a seed that I would be willing to water.
Another phenomenon was that I wanted to create living mortgage free and whole new scenario opened up from that. I found out that we, as a couple, tend to think that if we get what we want it has to be because we built it. Neither one of us really want that any longer. We want a newly finished house with all of the amenities without having to work our asses off to build it into an older home. My goals for the entire next year will look very diferent from those in the past and I have a feeling they will be much more believable to me.
I'm in a bit of a quandary with how my views vs. my husbands views pan out. For instance he feels that we are going to live in this house until we are ready to retire. At the same time he is tired of the work on it, the constant rebuilding that needs to be done, etc. So why stay? It feels victimy to me...victim thinking. "Ohhh poor me I have so much work here and I don't want to do it and its falling apart because of that but ohhhh no I don't feel like moving. Its just to much to think of moving" Blah blah blah. I'm a get it done kind of person. For the love of God if your not happy than change it!! So I have to sit down with him and get to the bottom of this energy and hopefully he'll be ablle to make clear decisions so we can move in one or another direction. Over the last week I have absolutely seen how unclear he is and how he can not make a solid plan. His plans are all over the board. We'll have to discuss this. OH OR!! Perhaps I could just Abe this whole thing in another direction? Perhaps I could just create in my next 100 days "Dual decisions are made with clarity and firmness and move us in positive directions" Hmm...
Thats food for thought!

Well anyhow thats where I am at the ending of this 100 days. The knowledge I have gained is well worth any manifestation loss that occurred. I love CLARITY!! And that seems to be my biggest manifestation this season!

Happy Co-creating everyone!
Carrie

[createfate]

Good for you Carrie... You have alot of great insights!!!!