Day 94

[JIM CARSON]

Reflecting on my goals and intentions for this season...

I have been blessed with many financial rewards this season and a new business endeavor and adventure starting in January 2009. The company has locked down a lease on the building and will be opening its doors in mid-January. I will be lending my expertise and experience to this enterprise that seeks to help others.

My DJ schedule has been full and abundant with some great gigs and opportunities to hang out with old friends and make new ones alike.

It's not really the best time to buy a house or a condo since I think housing values will continue to fall, but I am ok with that. Renting is fine for now.

I'm not really sure if I am doing the best at making others feel loved and happy. I wasn't able to get many people come to my New Year's Eve gig. The two people I brought with me couldn't get in since I only had one comp and neither of them have any money to get in and I didn't have any cash on me to get them in and the promoter was not budging on the policy of no more than one comp. I wanted to pay for the ticket but I didn't have any cash on me. My friends weren't too upset as I hung out with them afterwards and watched "Pineapple Express" & "Boondock Saints" but it seems like some of my other friends are not very happy with me, not coming out to much of my gigs anymore. I guess I can't win them all.

I think I have realized that as much as you want to co-create your reality perfectly, there is only so much you can do. You have to be patient and let time bring you your intentions and goals according to its schedule.

I didn't list it as an intention, but it has been an intention of mine to make great records and songs and I feel like my production has definitely improved in this area. I am songwriter, mix engineer, and mastering engineer all in one as an independent artist and producer. My musical friends have definitely noticed an improvement in mixing and mastering and I've only been working on it for a little over a year. It seems like not even that. Maybe just in the past 90 days I have really been diving into mixing and mastering. I was more on the production side of things before and had no understanding of mixing and mastering before.

I think this season has been about love. Loving myself and learning to let go of my ideas of about perfectionism. "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always preserves."
-- 1 Corinthians 13:4-7

Which brings me back to spirituality. While I love the new age authors and spiritualists like Wayne Dyer, Deepak Chopra, and Eckhart Tolle, there is just something about meditating to the words of Jesus and Paul that brings me a peace like no other. I feel like my connection to God has been renewed in the past few weeks during this season and has led me to renew my faith in my path on this Earth and where I am headed and going.

I do take 100% responsibility for my life, but I understand I am not the only one who is doing the work.

Thank you for taking the time to read my blog. I do hope that I will have videos for you soon; hopefully starting next season.

Happy New Year 2009!

Much love & peace & joy & happiness & abundance to you, Jim Carson

[JIM CARSON]

Reading back on what I wrote in this blog I realize how hard and judgmental I can be on myself sometimes and have it all wrong in regards to how I make my friends happy or not. A goal of mine in Season 2 is to let up on my self-criticism. It is hard to coordinate schedules when travel and large groups of people are involved and I can't expect all my friends to come out to every single gig after seeing me perform a hundred times over. I am grateful for all the times they have seen me perform.