Day 38, Season 4, 7/1/09 (I hope this makes sense)
Tonight, something uncomfortable happened at rehearsal for the play I'm in. I had an interaction with a fellow Black actor that had innapropriate racial undertones, which has always been a touchy subject for me, being half-black, half-navajo and raised in a white environment. It bugged and hurt the hell out of me and unfortunately occurred at the beginning of the evening. I took the actor aside and told him how what he had said, no matter how innocently he meant it, hurt my feelings and was a sore spot. He apologized and said he wouldn't do it again. I was still having trouble dealing with it. So at break I put aside my authority figure issues and took my director aside and told him what happened and asked what he would do. He said talking to the guy had been a good idea. He also said it was more a reflection of the other actor and his maturity than me and that all these people in this cast are young.
He mentioned also, and this is what stuck with me the most and I want to share, that I knew who I was. That if something like this happens again, I know who I am and I can say 'Whatever' and move on. When he told me 'You know who you are', I brushed it off. Then he gave me the knowing, 'Oh, Yes You DO!' look. It was a powerful gift-moment where I felt and believed that 'I didn't know that I know who I am but Okay. I'm running with THAT'.
He mentioned also, and this is what stuck with me the most and I want to share, that I knew who I was. That if something like this happens again, I know who I am and I can say 'Whatever' and move on. When he told me 'You know who you are', I brushed it off. Then he gave me the knowing, 'Oh, Yes You DO!' look. It was a powerful gift-moment where I felt and believed that 'I didn't know that I know who I am but Okay. I'm running with THAT'.
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Comment by Augusta on July 2, 2009 at 2:03am - That's beautiful!
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