Day 11 Season 1
I saw the psychiatrist today who has decided not to prescribe me antidepressants. This is positive as it means by Day 100 when i achieve my goal of happiness it will be real happiness and not drug induced! So YAY to that!
I have 2 projects to get done by tomorrow afternoon and no motivation and I really need to tidy my home so I am calling my guides for help with this! I need a miracle! So much to do but I am in bed feeling like a dead weight! the music projects are very important for my other 100 day reality challenge and that is to be successful with my music so I really hope I can get them done! I am visualising finishing the work and relaxing and being satisfied that i have completed my task.
My special person has been confusing me and behaving aggressively towards me as he is frustrated with me. Yesterday I went to party he organised. I had the intention of just having good time with my friend and staying out of his way but my friend left early and I found myself trying to hug him and things. I decided to come home, he insisted on leaving the party to walk me home but he was angry with me and we argued and it felt bad. I wish he had just left walk home alone. I should taken responsibility for myself. It is good though because I remind myself that I put this person on a pedestal but when he is impatient and unkind to me I question whether he is actually good for me.
I was embarrassed at the party because he has a lot of friends who I usually like to talk to but because we have split up and they know I felt paranoid and small and pushed out.
I need to protect myself more from feelings like this.
Bye for now
Lots of love
Bronwen x
I have 2 projects to get done by tomorrow afternoon and no motivation and I really need to tidy my home so I am calling my guides for help with this! I need a miracle! So much to do but I am in bed feeling like a dead weight! the music projects are very important for my other 100 day reality challenge and that is to be successful with my music so I really hope I can get them done! I am visualising finishing the work and relaxing and being satisfied that i have completed my task.
My special person has been confusing me and behaving aggressively towards me as he is frustrated with me. Yesterday I went to party he organised. I had the intention of just having good time with my friend and staying out of his way but my friend left early and I found myself trying to hug him and things. I decided to come home, he insisted on leaving the party to walk me home but he was angry with me and we argued and it felt bad. I wish he had just left walk home alone. I should taken responsibility for myself. It is good though because I remind myself that I put this person on a pedestal but when he is impatient and unkind to me I question whether he is actually good for me.
I was embarrassed at the party because he has a lot of friends who I usually like to talk to but because we have split up and they know I felt paranoid and small and pushed out.
I need to protect myself more from feelings like this.
Bye for now
Lots of love
Bronwen x
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