AWARENESS & ACTION - theme for this week.

[Conscious Kitty]

Well I haven't written much in the last week. I have been on the site, but I just felt myself to be without words. I had a really bad evening while trying to do something special for my EX on tuesday and it blew up in my face. Literally, I felt like there was an explosion and I was blown months back in time. Its shaken me alot and the negative self talk from that one night has washed a kind of angry, aggressive feeling over me that I have had a hard time shaking off. I haven't seen or spoken to him since because I am too scared of the affects on my mind. I told him that i will not be talking to him or seeing for a while. I need a significant amount of time and space between us so I can move on.

I have been getting my runs in but I feel now it is time to add some more fitness to my regime. I want to add weight training on Tuesday and Thursday. I want to join a boot camp, but I think I will wait till the Mar 30th start, as the weather is still a bit finicky. In the meantime though, I am going to make it my goal to hit the gym this week on Tuesday and Thursday to see how it feels to have those two workouts between my Mon/Wed runs. I also need to start focusing on healthier eating and prepping food in advance for work.

I am going to start looking for a bike. I want to ride it to work and to boot camo when I start. I am very excited about this adventurous feeling that has been growing inside me lately. I honestly believe I could be as fit as I want to be this summer. I am doing what it takes right now and making plans to kick it in to high gear and that feels great!

I am drinking tea and looking at my view of the ocean with my fresh tulips beside me llooking so beautiful. This is a wonderful way to start the day! THANK YOU FOR MY WONDERFUL HOME!!

I am coming to a lot of realizations lately and I am ***LISTENING***. Further more, I am taking ***ACTION***. THIS FEELS WONDERFUL!!!

I want to be as mindful and aware as possible this week and TAKE ACTION ON ALL OPPORTUNITIES!!!

Well, time to get ready for work. I am even excited about that, as I have a clean organized closet and kitchen!!! WHOOT WHOOT!! Yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!

[Yenna]

Hi Kitty,

There is something really wonderful about taking action, isn't there? That was something that the Opus really taught me- and it was something that was really, really missing in my life! I know Abraham teaches that it is what is happening on the inside that really matters, but they've also said that sometimes our beliefs is so strong that only action will create the shift we desire. Sure, we could lose weight by focusing on it, or get a job (and I have had them fall right in my lap for me!), but if I feel good because I have been proactive and handed out lots of resumes, then that is a much better place to be than sitting at home not feeling so confident. I have been expercising a lot, too, and working with my husband (working is starting to pore in, now!) and so I am feeling a real shift, whereas if I were still picturing the idea landscaping job, we'd still be sitting here!

I can totally relate to your sense that this summer you can be as fit as you want- I absolutely know you can be ... and will be! I have felt that before myself, and I was so active and I loved every minute of it. It is a wonderful feeling!

I'm sorry to hear that things "blew up" on you. That is so unbelievably frustrating. And for me, embarressing, especially if my LOA friends know about it because I feel I ought to have been able to prevent it, what with all the knowledge I have. It is even worse if a doubter find out! But I always seem to bounce back. I wish I knew what magic formula made me tick within LOA, but I am still learning. One of the things that has really become apparant to me is that for all the wonderful sources of LOA I have, and all the knowledge and guidance available out there, I am being called to return to myself and my own inner, innate knowledge. I feel as though that is a part of me that has been neglected in favour of "processes", "exercises" and "methods". All of these are wonderful things, but not if I am ignoring my own wisdom in the process. I hope the time you are taking frmo your ex to move on is gentle, healing and everything you could wish it to be.

Jenna