55. Grateful for 2008

[Jay Ey]

2008 was in many ways a nightmare for me. I've been adrift, questioning everything about myself and getting stuck obsessing for hours on end in my head. So, it's time to take stock in what made 2008 "Gr8te."

1. My mother got diagnosed with breast cancer around Thanksgiving of 2007. At the start of 2008 she had had surgery and was to begin chemo. One year later, after much chemo and radiation, she seems healthier than before. I took her to tea earlier this week and had a conversation where we got to know a lot more about each other. I'm grateful to still have her and my father, whom I will hopefully begin to appreciate more as well. And I'm also grateful that I have the rest of my family. They are not perfect, nor am I, but we're lucky to have each other.
2. A year ago I was in a job that I hated and that really stressed me out. I was let go, and though I've been adrift since then, I am very fortunate to have made enough money to have a cushion to not have to take another job right away (though I am living very frugally). I'm also lucky that a contract job landed in my lap and that I was able to earn some money this year. I'm grateful that I'm no longer in the cycle of misery that was that job, and that I have options ahead of me (that will hopefully reveal themselves soon!).
3. I have a wonderful group of friends who are supportive. I feel like I have been drifting away from them, as they have become more established with significant others, working on their homes and becoming more settled. Yet they are very caring and ethical and supportive and I'm very lucky to have them. They are like a second family to me.
4. I'm fortunate to have found ways to meet new friends as well this year. And I asked out and went out with at least 10 - 12 women this year. It's hard for me to imagine there is someone out there for me, and yet every month or two I meet someone and have a good time with her. I'm on a low in this cycle right now; but I'm going to try to be optimistic that there is someone out there for me after all.
5. I'm healthy. I struggle with depression and anxiety, but I continue to slowly get better from these over time (though not always as steadily and definitely as quickly as I'd like!). Physically, I'm blessed without any major complaints or diseases.

I'm looking forward to a new and improved year in 2009!

[David]

Hey Jay,
I hope that 2009 truly turns out to be your best year ever! I wish you the best and see you manifesting many miracles in renewed connections to cherished friends, ease and prosperity and ... ???
The best that the universe can offer to you :)
Namaste

[shelagh]

Hi Jay, I try to meditate.lol.
I'm posting this here too in case you don't get back to the other entry.
:) Ha, this response is full of links, sorry but you got me going:) Just so happens that I do know of Shambhala.
Interesting. Chogyam Trungpa founded the Shambhala school of meditation. He was a controversial figure. Eventually settling in Nova Scotia, because the "energy" was right. He had already founded a monastery here, Gampo Abbey, where people can come for retreats. Pema Chodron a prominent Buddhist teacher and writer is the Abbess. She has written some great books.The Shambhala Sun is based here too. There are hundreds of Buddhists here now as a result of Trungpa. The singing bowl came from one of their shops. I actually was present after he had passed away and they were taking his body from his house( huge place) There were hundreds of Buddhists on the lawn and spilling out onto the street. Chanting and droning as he was ( his body)carried to a limousine. I was just coming back from a walk and happened upon it. Very surreal.
So, there you have it!
Cheers, S.

[shelagh]

Hi You! I've not been around here much. I hope you are having a great January. Keep your spirits up and know that you've got a buddy in Nova Scotia:)