"Accounting" for the Non-Emotions

[Marilyn]

I've been thinking a lot lately about my career. The main thought that crosses my mind quite a bit is why and how did I end up in this particular field. I'm an Accountant. I have a master's in Accounting, and have work in both public and private accounting for over 6 years. In those six years, I've switched jobs at least every two years. Typically within the first six months of each job held, I encounter that same feeling of "this isn't where I'm supposed to be, this isn't what I'm supposed to be doing".

Months ago, I came across a little booklet that I had from childhood. This booklet was titled "School Years", or something like that. Inside this booklet contained my class picture from Kindergarten through Eighth grade; one school year per page. Each year I would fill in my information such as: teacher's name, names of my classmates, favorite subject, awards, greatest school year memory. At the bottom of the page contained a box. Above the box read the question "What you want to be when you grow up?". Inside the box, contained various careers in alphabetical order (ie. Actress, Artist, Astronaut, etc.). Each year, from kinder to 8th grade, I had circled Teacher. Next to the word teacher I would write Math.

During highschool, we were required to take business credits in order to graduate. My sophmore year, I took Principles of Accounting I. My brother, who was a senior at the time, was also taking this class, which is probably why I signed up for it. Being that I enjoyed math so much, I naturally did really well in Accounting. So for the next two years, I took the advanced accounting courses to fulfill the business hours necessary for graduation.

During my senior year, my father was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. It was a challenging time for the family. My brother had gone off and joined the Navy. My mother, who knew little about finances, relied on me to step in and take care of all the banking, bills, etc. Somehow, I kept going with this. Through college it somehow made sense to stick with Accounting. It was a growing field, and potential for good money to be made (I could support my family).

Accounting worked for me then. It worked for me because Accounting is one of those fields that require no emotions. You go in analyze data and come up with reasonable solutions, or you compile data into legible statements for investors. Little people skills needed, no emotional attachments, just numbers. This worked for me at a time when I was dealing with a lot of emotional stuff at home. I could, or had to, detach myself from any emotions and focus on something else. Since I've been on this internal/spiritual journey, I have so many pent up emotions that need to be released.

Remaining in this field feels as though it's cutting me off from releasing all emotions. Yes, the workplace may not be for emotions....but why not? I need to be passionate about my work, and isn't passion a form of emotion? The passion I seek is elsewhere. I don't know where. I only know I feel very little of it here. So, maybe this goes back to my post about "The Mystery of the Unknown".

There are many aspects of my job that I absolutely love and am so grateful for. I love my co-workers. I love the many opportunities that I get to travel. I love meeting new people. I'm grateful that I have this job. I'm grateful that through this job I am able to support my family. I have the greatest boss EVER! I'm so grateful for it all and I'm especially grateful for the unknown. I don't know where I'm going or what I'm doing, but I'm willing to slow down. I'm willing to become curious about the new possibilities, allowing and releasing emotions, feeling the passion, and all that beautiful stuff!

[Jenna]

HI :) A suggestion if you dont want to take that leap is there are plenty of online schools that you can teach a class and see if you like it. University of Pheonix is just one that I can think of. That way you can stay in your job for a while and give teaching a go - esspecially since you have your masters there should be no problem doing that :)

[Frecia]

Hi Marilyn!

Great post! Tahnk you for sharing! It's amazing to me how much we knew when we were children. When I was reading your blog I got a thought in my head and it was..well..maybe you could teach kids or adults, Math or accounting. If, you haven't done it already.
I always feel it's very important to try something new! I believe we feel the happiest when we are giving...maybe you could create a program for kids who need to learn the value of money or create a program for kids who are gifted and could use your help to better their skills in the workforce. There are so many possibilities. I know you are very bright and determined...and I can tell you have a big heart..you have such a beautiful spirit about you that I feel with a bit of effort you'll be able to find someting that you can feel fully passionate about.

Let me know your thoughts..I hope all is well! Much Blessings and Lots of Love!!!