Exhausted and wanting MORE

[Marilyn]

On Sunday, I went to visit my mom at the nursing home where she resides. She is on the fourth floor which is solely for residents with Alzheimer's and Dementia. I typically spend a good amount of time visiting with my mom, then I'll spend the remainder of my time going around and chatting with the other residents. I noticed that as I chatted with one, other residents would slowly make there way over to us. Before I knew it, I was surrounded by majority of the residents. I enjoyed it so much. I was in several different conversations all at once. One person would chime in with a thought while another was in the middle of a sentence, another would nugde at me or demand my attention, another would motion at me to assist them or to show me something. It was wonderful.

At the end of my work days, I often think "what a productive day, I'm exhausted, I can't wait to go home and relax for a bit". When I left the home on Sunday, I thought "what a productive visit, I feel exhausted, I can't wait to come back". I wanted to turn back around and go for round two. I could be there everyday, wrapped up in what I would call "chaotic bliss".

There's so much life surrounding persons with Alzheimer's and Dementia; more life than those of us living in the "real" and "functioning" world. I consider those inflicted with this dis-ease as lucky. They get to travel back in time, recapture old hidden memories, relive childhood, and then release it all. My father did not have a close relationship with his father. During the mid stage of his journey thru Alzheimers, there was a period of about three weeks where I would find my father crying about his father. After three weeks, he was done. He no longer mentioned anything about his father, he was no longer crying or upset. Most people would tell me that he must have "forgotten" about it all.....but I know better. I knew that my father was finally releasing all the pent up anger or sadness that he felt towards his father. He relived that part of his life, in his own manner, and he resolved it all. Yes, he did "forget" but it's only because there was nothing left. He did his work, he released it.

When he left this earth, he left in complete peace. He took nothing with him. My mother is now doing the same work. She's lucky. She's making complete peace with everything in her life. This is what my 100 day challenge is about. I am making peace with everything in my life NOW. For some people it takes a near death experience to get there, others (like my parents) it takes a disease to get there. My time is here and now.

PEACE OUT :)

[Jenna]

It is nice that you talk to the other residents. It is rare to find a person that caring :)

[Joni]

WOW!!!!!!!!!!!! This is THE most powerful thing I've ever heard about people living with Alzheimers. All we hear about is how sad and difficult it is, but you found the blessing in the darkness! Good for you!

My father had an alcoholic-induced dementia the last year of his life. I found the same thing...... he was no longer the terrifying tyrant that I knew. He was the young man who went dancing with his sweetheart (my mom!) and loved looking at stars he saw on the ceiling of his room. It was the most wonderful time I ever had with my father. I'm so grateful for it!

Thank you for this very clear vision about Alzheimers!

[Sara]

Marilyn, I am going to have to watch your blog very closely. I would never have looked at my parents' dementia in this way, and yet it is all sooo true. Thank you for giving me another perspective on this. <3 Sara

[Mary]

Thank you for sharing. You have a loving heart.