Day Eleven:

[Enzeru]

I can’t believe it’s day eleven already. The day’s fly by when you’re having fun as they say. I find that to be quite true. However, I worry. I have been thinking about the world as a whole. I know things and have researched things that make the future look quite bleak for humanity and for our future generations. I wonder what if anything I can really do to change these things. Some of it seems quite a daunting and intimidating task but I believe anything is possible.
I have also been thinking about myself and questioning who I am, what I am, what I believe, what I am here to do. I believe I know the answers to some of these things, but as for others I can not say that I have any clue. It feels as though I am almost loosing myself while trying to find myself at the same time.
Perhaps it’s my old self dying while my new self emerges. I find that to be most true but also the most scariest at the same time because it is the old self that has been around so long that letting something or rather someone like that go is quite scary indeed. I have many questions that I need to answer.
I have been feeling the pressure to find a new job. Which is a very good idea because I refuse to be a freeloader, but I also have conflicting beliefs that are pulling me in to different directions. I have one belief that says get a job, get paid, contribute to the home. While another belief that says work for yourself, get paid, contribute to the home, quit making other people rich. Now in my current situation I can “afford” if you will, having no job because I have no bills, rent, or anything else to pay as I live with my friends who are quite amazing. However, I also feel the need to help them out as well, even if they don’t ask for it, and haven’t I still do not feel right just being here. Now I have been looking for employment but I also have been working on my Web Development business as well.
So I figure I have an answer to this question that has been plaguing me for some time now. Get a job first, and work on the business part time. Even if that conflicts with some things within me that says to pay all my attention to the business since that is what I am truly passionate about. It is something that I need to do.
I found my Journal recently that I have bought not too long ago. I will soon start to write in it as I do here in my blog. But this journal, this actual cover, paper, ink to page journal will be even more personal. Perhaps one day I shall find the courage to share all of my entries of my written journal but alas in order to do that I would actually need to have entries in it and as of now I have but one.
I have also been gifted Sandy’s book Journalution and although to be honest I haven’t done any of the journaling suggestions, I will very soon as I find them both interesting and inspiring. I have been reading it as a novel for now and am halfway through it already. I definitely recommend that everyone read it because it is quite an amazing work. I wish you all the best and hope you’re having amazing days.

Warmest Regards,
-Enzeru
“Dream A Dream, What You See Will Be”

[Alicia]

Hi there. IT sounds like you are getting a few decisions made about what actions to take next. Awesome. I also have the Journalution book and am doing some of the prompts. Best wishes. Alicia

[Janine]

As a person who is a total environmentalist Enz....there are many individuals out there, and we all think the same thing......and yes together we are changing the way we live as individuals, but others are noticing...from small things big things come, so don't be disheartened. I know, that how we live as a family has influenced my parents, other families to live more environmentally aware.