Day Five:

[Enzeru]

This is going to be a rant type post.
I have always been somewhat different than everyone else. My intelligence level is that to where I pick up basically anything with lightening like speed, even to the point of where other people get jealous of my ability to do so. I say not to brag or impress anyone but rather as a note to myself.
Even though I pick things up so fast it has come to my attention that I do absolutely nothing with it. Sure I may have a project here and there but that quickly fades out of existence just as quickly as it came into existence. I can never seem to stick to one particular thing for too long. As a result I have basically spent the last eight years of my life wanting to accomplish a lot but doing absolutely nothing.

So, I want to change my life for the better. This is a great endeavor, and I would suggest it to anyone who wants to create something great. But yet at the same time, with me it all falls on deaf ears. Now don’t get me wrong, I love most of the stuff I have learned and use some of it. But once again with me it is yet another thing that I have done almost nothing to actually follow through on.

I have enough books available to me at my disposal on everything from Psychology, Self-Help, Finances, Business, and Computer information I could ever possibly need. A mass of information that would make even the most well stocked library or book store jealous. I enjoy all the information that these books have imparted on me, but yet again it’s the same story.

It hurts me to realize the fact that eight years, EIGHT years!! I have taken no actual action to improve anything other than my knowledge. Knowledge may be power as that old saying goes, but it’s how you use that knowledge, or if you even use it as in my case, that counts for everything. Another thing that pains me is that even though I have all this knowledge, I have obtained it through myself and not through some University or School. So therefore, even if I know exactly how to do something, perhaps even faster and better than those who went to University it will not matter in the end since I have no credentials to back it up.

I really need to look within myself, long and hard and figure out exactly what it is I am doing. Where am I going? What is it that I want my life to be? What is it that I want my life to mean? How am I going to get there? What actions will I take? These are questions I need to answer. These are questions that are going to lead me to finally creating the life I have always wanted.

With that said I would like to share a few things with all of you. First a small sentence/diagram for us to think about:
Thoughts > Actions > Results > Thoughts (the cycle of creation, the cycle of everything really)
Another thing to think about is the following quotes I have read and found them interesting so I will share them here:
“What lies behind us
And what lies before us
Are tiny matters
Compared to what lies within us”
-Emerson

“The mind that opens to a new idea
Never comes back to its original size”
-Einstein

With that shared, I would like to apologize for my rant type post today. I just needed to post this for myself more than anything. I hope everyone is doing excellent out there, and remember:

“Dream A Dream, What You See Will Be”

[Sabine]

Enzeru, if you haven't bought tatianas' recommended book yet - go out and get it immediately! I've read it through in two days and it has been a definite eye-opener for me, nothing short of a revelation :-)
As I realized I don't have to choose a career and confine myself to a single activity (Gah!), a huge weight fell off my shoulders. I could actually feel becoming lighter, wow. I'm all happy and enthusiastic now about my future job prospects in London - there are so many fascinating things out there and I'm actually getting to do them all now! YAY!
Ooops, trailing off ... anyways, buy that book :-) And, tatiana, I love you for pointing the book out, thanks!

[Sabine]

Tatiana, you're a genius! I've just ordered the book by Barbara Sher (I already loved Wishcraft). Hooray for Renaissance people :-)

[tatiana]

you know, i come from a similar background and then later wound up feeling like a master of none but instead of trying to focus on doing one thing - which i know is impossible for me - i've found that by inherently working on bettering myself, focusing on my goals and surrendering to the universe - the rest falls into place.

these moments of contrast allow us to refine focus and action can be taken but ultimately, we are always at the perfect place for us at every given moment. if you were supposed to be somewhere else you would be. so now you have awareness which means change will be ushered in. but remember that the how is not up to us... no matter how prodigious we think we are. so be sure to take action but also remember our will gets surrendered to the grand design that is the universe's wisdom and timing. that speeds up manifestation greatly.

you might want to look into the book Refuse to Choose!: A Revolutionary Program for Doing Everything That You Love - by barbara sher. it's basically full of ideas for how highly intellectual multi-talented people can live the life they want - she argues that being a jack of all trades used to be referred to as being a renaissance person - but our assembly line mentality in the contemporary western world has people thinking that something is somehow wrong with them if they don't specialize... but what if actually... nothing is wrong at all.

[Janine]

Hi Enzeru,
I am exactly the same, but gradually I am breaking out of the habit. Have you read the book "Eat that Frog" by Brian Tracy?
My number one goal is to follow through and finish things. Allow myself to plan action only once and actually do it. Thats why I find that book so good. If the worst thing you have to do in a day is to eat a frog, then it is best to eat that frog as early as you can so that the rest of the day isnt as bad. Its worse to procrastinate on eating that frog as it builds up in the mind and just gets bigger and bigger. The best thing I have done for myself is to actually commit both to myself and other people.....then it gets done.

[Zara]

Hi Enzeru, its so wonderful you can learn things fast and have so much knowledge. Everything happens for a reason even if its been 8 years you will look back in the furture and understand why. I watched a really good speech by the man behind Apple (I can't remember his name) its on youtube, you may of seen it but he talks about you can only connect the dots when you look back so you have to trust that it all works out in the end. I think once you know what end result you actually want then there is stopping you from getting there only yourself:)

[Sabine]

Hi Enzeru, if it's any comfort to you I have that lightning speed phenomenon as well :-) It took me years to learn how "to learn" and actually see something through.
Don't blame yourself any longer for those eight years! Every additional day would be another waste :-) I'll turn out to have been good for something.