I appreciate when movies come along that remind me of my impoverished past. "A Home of Our Own" star…

[Joshua Peterson]

I appreciate when movies come along that remind me of my impoverished past. "A Home of Our Own" starring Kathy Bates is probably the most striking movie I've ever watched; and I cannot help but remember my own family's past.

There were a number of times I wanted to give up- and too many times I actually tried. When we lived in a 2 bedroom house, and one person had to make their bedroom in our living room; we had a carpeted kitchen where our rickety stove sat right next to our washer and dryer, which in-turn sat adjacent to our refrigerator. I remember, during those times, that we had no Christmas, my mom was finishing school, and I could not find work at 16. It was during this time I made the decision to drop out of school.

I can remember gang fights outside the living room window; my ex Angel who was excessively abusive; my mom who worked at little accounting firm as a bookkeeper; and everything we tried to do to make the situation better.

I remember moving into this rundown duplex after we had our three bedroom home foreclosed on. My mom worked really hard to get us that home, and we suddenly had to give it up when my mom left her position at a major firm to finish school.

One of the most unnerving situations during that whole time frame was an incident when I saw my a candy wrapper on the TV tray my mom used in place of a nightstand in one of the bedrooms. I asked her if she had any candy, and her response was that she found it on the floor, in the kitchen, underneath the refrigerator. [This is a very difficult thing to write about, for your information,] And the fact that she followed that up with an apology... I've lost a few nights worth of sleep in the last 5 years because I could just imagine trying to take care of two kids on part-time wages, going to school to try to make things better, trying to feed a family of three plus pets on $20 every two weeks- and the only time you could have a damn snack size reese's cup is when somebody lost it underneath the refrigerator.

I don't talk about things like this too often because- I guess- I do not want people to think that I'm anything less than capable. But to be 21 years old and $4,000 in debt-- working 40 hours a week, making $9.45 an hour, paying $630 a month for a one bedroom 3rd floor apartment, $100 a month for electricity, with Wireless High Speed Internet, Digital Cable, a laptop that's just over a year old, a brand new camcorder, tripod, expensive makeup... The list goes on. I almost feel like taking everything I own and tossing it off my balcony.

But at the same time, I know that- as much as my family would love to deny me ever going somewhere- I owe this to my upbringing to be successful at what I do. I owe it to my mother to show her that being down at the bottom didn't stop me from getting to the top; and I plan on proving this next month with the release of my first Pop single.

As I wait for my new microphone to arrive so I can begin recording vocals, I'm left to wonder how many people are currently walking where I've walked. I wonder how many peoples' major highlight is being able to hide in the only bathroom in their house for 15 minutes with a CD of MP3s that they couldn't afford of their favorite singer's new songs or album, and leave their woes behind for just a little bit of daydream heaven. I used to do that; I used to dream of being just like Britney Spears or Madonna... and by the end of 2009, I will be.

By the end of 2009, I'll be a novelist and a musician. And I'll remember that someone, somewhere, is probably dancing to one of my songs just so they can get a few minutes outside of their day-to-day environment.