Another lonely, boring day off ...

[Xenia]

It's Saturday. I had off yesterday. And today. What did I do? Absolutely nothing. Yesterday I unintentinally deleted my entire hard drive on my new macbook when trying to install bootcamp. I was so mad, desperate and it took me really the whole day to fix that propblem.
So I thought, today was going to be better, different. But it wasn't really different. I spend all day at home. I have such a boring life. Every weekend is the same. All my evenings after work are the same. I'm just by myself. I don't really have friends anymore. It's like I got seperated from them years ago and couldn't find any new ones ever since. I hate that. I got used to being lonely. I got used to being bored. But it makes me mad when I think about it. Why can't I have any friends. I know, people like me. But somehow we never get over that being-just-acquaintances. My brother is 5 years younger than me. He's got a bunch of friends, never being at home, always having fun things to do. I sit here daily in my appartment, with my two cats, like an old lady. Everybody is out now, partying or socialising. And what am I doing? I'm doing the same as usual. I so much hate it. It makes me wanna cry, that's how mad I am. Mad at life, mad at myself, mad at my parents hardly ever alowing me staying over at my friends' homes, meeting them, having them stay over.
I hope nobody is ever gonna read this who knows me. This is so embarassing.

[Xenia]

Sandra, thank you for your nice words. That's what happened to me too - I had my best friends in the formers schools but then, when I was 14 and I started with kindergarten teachers school I all of a sudden lost my former friends. They'd switched schools too, so our interests changed. We would meet from time to time only to realize we don't have much in common anymore.
Having virtual friends is good too, I appreciate it. But you know, it's just not the same. Again, I can't go out an meet them.
Also I know that writing all this and saying it out loud won't change the situation in the meaning of LOA. But sometimes I just don't want or I can't think positively when I'm frustrated. And I know things can't change that fast.

Have a nice Sunday :)

[Sandra aka mytruestory85]

Oh Sweetie!!! I can understand your situation. I an not going out very much but I know when you say you got seperated from friends, I lost contact from friends from the former school I used to go, I still write some mails to friends but it's usually me who starts first but with the others i lost contact. it is sad I know but life goes on.

Don't think that your life is bored it's not, you just feel tired of going out (I suppose that not sure, just assuming) when you work it's understandable that you are tired and want to have some time for yourself. Somehow I can relate to you.

well, what i want to say is that you have friends here at ccor if that means something to you. Okay we are 'virtually' friends but after all we are all human, and are all over the word, some on the other side of the continent but we are here for you! If that cheers you up. ;)

Big hugs,
Sandra