The door to the first 100 days closes...and the next door opens!

[Lisa]

Thanks to all my friends who've written to check on me over the last couple of weeks. It's been a rollercoaster! And just like on rollercoasters, some moments my stomach is in my throat and my hands clutch the car as I wonder how safe these rides really are, and some moments the safety is so obviously absolute and the fluttering in my stomach is pure joy.

So, to catch up... My trip through this 100 days has truly been amazing. I've made incredible progress, some of which has been attained through some pretty deep bumps and bruises. That's one thing that's become clear to me: when you go for the thing you say you want, all your "stuff" around that thing—the issues that have kept you from having it in the first place—will come up. Some of it is fluff; you recognize it, make a decision, and move on. Some of it is deep and hidden. You may think you've made a terrible mistake in going for your dream because suddenly your life is a complete mess. You may be tempted to give up and go back to the way things were; you know you'll be deeply disappointed, but it may look like the only way to stop the painful chaos you find yourself in the middle of. But that's where faith comes in. It's the moment you need to ground yourself, hold on, and keep moving forward. Those moments will break you down or break you open.

One of my goals was to focus on my dreamwork practice—gaining clients and expertise. And I have certainly made progress in that area. I've had some paying clients, participated at intuitive arts fairs, found new, like-minded friends, and added wonderful new tools like hypnotherapy and EFT to my counseling toolbox. I've also had to confront my discomfort with public speaking, something I'm still working on. Some moments I feel energized and ready to speak to a group of any size, and some moments I feel totally unprepared and paralyzed. Working with the issues that throw me into the latter mindset is an ongoing road. Feeling unprepared can be tackled by practicing. Feeling paralyzed is a deeper thing; for me it's tied to childhood feelings of shame and unworthiness, and holding still to stay safe. Knowing these are common feelings doesn't preclude me from having to walk the path of releasing them. What I've found, though, is that I'm grateful there is a path.

Another thing that came up is the division between doing dreamwork on an even exchange basis vs. doing it with someone who doesn't have that background. Because I love dreamwork, I tend to talk about it with friends whether they do their own dreamwork or not. One of those conversations piqued the interest of one friend, and I walked her through a couple of dreams in order to explain the process. Her interest in dreamwork grew, she started remembering more dreams, and soon she was calling me almost every day to do dreamwork. I didn't mind, because I truly do love this work. However, as time went on, I started noticing a discomfort coming from something I couldn't articulate. I loved working dreams with my friend, so what was the problem? Those of you who do counseling/therapeutic have undoubtedly spotted it already. That part of our relationship had turned into that of a therapist and client. When I finally gained the clarity and courage to broach the subject to her, she panicked, assuming that I meant to take dreamwork away from her. Since she had no community, this left her feeling isolated and scared. As we both tried to make ourselves understood, the situation ballooned and we found ourselves in the midst of an incredibly painful crisis. I truly thought our friendship had been lost, a result that left me doubting my abilties as a dreamwork counselor and has a friend. But today, after many weeks, we are moving forward, each trying to repair what we can as we feel our way through these tender issues. This has taught me a valuable lesson about where to draw the line for doing dreamwork with friends, and about the projection issues that arise during counseling. And I have returned to that place of higher perspective, knowing that these things came up so that I could see them and release them. I am truly grateful for that.

Now, I'm entering a new chapter. Today I'm anticipating the next level of Dream Teacher Training in a couple weeks, starting a new job in the medical industry (quite a bit closer to the people-care focus I want than the regular corporate world I was in!), scheduling dreamwork participation at upcoming fairs, and starting the next part of my degree (Spiritual Psychology) in September. I've also learned that this first 100 days, in addition to motivating me and giving me a way to measure my progress, has prepared me for the next 100 days. I take every rich bit of self-exploration with me as I walk through this next door. I am truly grateful for the clarity I've gained, the deeper awareness of my own soul and those of others, and the ever more grounded knowing that every wound and every healing that I find within myself has its reflection in the world around me.

I am often "caught up" in life, which can translate to "not blogging"... Your notes and messages are often the "rattle" my world needs to remind me to post! I look forward to hearing from you—wherever you are on your path and in your 100-day cycle!

Much love.

[lorijovest]

Hi Lisa ~ Congratulations on what you've accomplished in your first season. Your clarity is inspiring. I'm just wrapping up my first season and I know I'll start my second immediately afterwards. It's such a great tool for focus, agree? Hugs to you, Lori

[Aleta]

HUGE CONGRATS TO YOU ON YOUR FIRST 100 DAYS!
You are a gifted writer as well as counselor! I so very much appreciate your words. I feel as if you were writing for me as well. I think one of the hidden gift of 100Days is that we get to shift (close) relationships where we have been (even slightly) disempowering ourselves. It feels as if the CCOR process starts with giving us a power boost that then allows us to SHED BABY!!! Like an Angora in summer!!!!! We live so nearby each other in the 3D world, I do hope we get to know each other!
Big Hug,
Aleta