S2 D32 - Feeling confused

[Stephanie]

Right now i'm feeling confused, past feelings have been stirred up and its left me feeling confused.
I guess you can say, I came across a business opportunity that appeared great but didn't work out. it turned out to be one of those referral systems that i'm not interested in.
That wasn't the problem. The problem was that this conjured up old feelings of mine about work. see, i left a happening corporate career (that i wasn't happy in) to pursue my dream of getting my book published. in the middle of it, I fell pregnant and am now staying home because corporate work makes me very stressed and we don't want that.
this opportunity somehow made me realise that I feel like i'm not contributing, that perhaps i should be going back to a corporate job. so i started looking at what's there and ofcourse that brought back alot of old hurt, jaded feelings about what i went through when i did work.
it's left me confused. i don't know what i want to do. old feelings that i should be working, that i'm not helping, that i'm being useless, that i'm a failure.
pretty big jump, i know. its just brought back alot of old confusing feelings and fears, that's all.

so writing this, i realise that i should spend time re-centering myself today. to realise i'm fine and deserve happiness. afterall, that was my reason for stepping away from the corporate world, i was not happy, i was miserable. i didn't realise, at the time, stepping away, the way i did, would lead to feelings of failure. Deep down, i would love to be a successful professional that loved their job and was highly affective, got the job done and got along with everyone and everything. it's a sad realise that, that's not going to happen for me. perhaps one day, i will go back to the corporate world and try again but it won't be before this baby is born.

one of the other things this opportunity brought up was the idea of creating my own blog page (with ad's etc). i wanted to do this for a while but never did, for one reason or another.
does anyone have a separate site that they blog on? are you earning a revenue?

as you can see, my minds been jumping around from one thing and another. that's what i mean by the confusion.

ok, gratitude time.
1 - I'm grateful that i have the love and support of my husband, who is fine with me being at home to chase my dream of getting my book published and staying out home with our baby. i'm very fortunate to be in this position.
2 - i'm grateful i had enough sense not to jump into that opportunity. it wasn't for me and i would've really regretted it, if i had continued.
3 - i'm grateful i have the ability to recentre and think about my own happiness. afterall, that's what it's about right, increasing your happiness?
4 - i'm grateful that i love writing the stories in my head. i hope they'll get published one day but i have no idea now (the sureness i felt has gone down).
5 - i'm grateful i'm pregnant. i realise now that i really do want to start a family and be there with my kids while the grow up. this next stage of my life has turned out to be ideal ... and i didn't even know i wanted this!

[Iris Fitzgerald]

Hey Stephanie,
Congratulation of the new baby. My daughter is due in November. She is so excited. I will be visiting her in a couple of weeks to help her on her way.

Also the part of blogging. Good luck. I have attempted to do this myself. My biggest thing is blogging my truths. But when I put a blog out that was 100% unadulterate. I got comments. Which blew me away. My thing is that was scary to get comments on my blog. You can get the ads to place from clickbank, link share, google, etc. You can also sell stuff on amazon for other.
Great success. Oh, I have not sold anything. I will pick it back up. Let me know if you sell anything and how you did it.

I think the secret is to let people know your blog pages . When I find the secret I will blog about it. LOL