At first I hated it, with such a passion I was like a volcano erupting with anger several times daily and everytime I opened my eyes the tears would flow. Why did this happen to me? Thats my whole life gone! I now realise its only the begining and its what I needed to progress in my life.
Before he left me I spent my daying thinking only about him and making him happy and what I could do for him. I got little return in the last couple of months and to be frank I cried more with him than with him. He was my emotion crutch holding me up and at night if I was without him I'd curl up in a ball in my bed like a puppy whos owners had gone on holiday to the south of spain for several weeks.
I can remember who i used to dash out of college to get home to cook his dinner when I should of been socialising with friends, I didnt even see the many ways aswell as that he was holding me back until a couple weeks ago.
Now I'm looking forward without looking back so much, this year I'm turning into a woman and a strong one at that.
I'm volunteering in Africa for a month and leaving home to go to university in Portsmouth for four years to become a pharmacist.
I do miss having someone to hold and someone to love but I know that I'll get that again with someone more suited to me and who knows what matters to me. I guess its very very true. When god closes a god, somehow he opens a window. (yes, yes I was subjected to the sound of music countless times growing up)
Love openinglotus xoxoxoxox
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