I am seeing signs of effect from the cleanse though I almost have hard times accepting that I see them, I don't quite have a good amount of energy I had hoped for yet but my tongue looks like it's started to clear up and I can see myself shaping up and loosing weight, but as for my not going to the bathroom so often as it is I would have hoped to go more. Today I was -very- nauseated by just the smell of fresh squeeze lemons it amazes me I made myself drink it.
As for the summary of my first 10…
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Added by Joshua on August 12, 2008 at 2:49pm —
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Bleh, I feel uncomfortable, during night two and three I would be up because of food cravings and I'd not feel like drinking much anything during the day though I am trying my best to do the minimum. What's coming out is very limited because I I don't go much anyway. I'm a little discouraged but I am keeping on with it, I'm kind of afraid of people being concerned because they don't know what a detox symptom is. So the fact that I am having the symptoms I guess is a good thing, I've noticed that…
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Added by Joshua on August 9, 2008 at 10:26pm —
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First day of my master cleanse.. I seem to love the taste of everything including the salt water flush and the teas, I'm almost embarrassed for liking the salt water (my supper last night was especially good too XD ) , I'm not sure if I experienced any real hunger but I have defenently been craving cooked foods I wouldn't normally eat, like fried stuff, and I keep almost feeling guilty even for the normal stuff I use to eat. For some reason its just strange, not the cravings but the fear, becaus…
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Added by Joshua on August 6, 2008 at 9:26pm —
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Hello Co-creators, I'm sorry for not blogging or anything for a long while, not that I expect anyone to care.. I'm not sure how to summerise what I've done in the past 95 days I do know It feels like alot of change in attitudes at least, and the full 100 days aren't over yet anyway.. I'm mainly just expressing my big big exitment right now about getting started on a ten day master cleanse tomorrow. That's pretty much it for right now I guess not sure what else to say..
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Added by Joshua on August 5, 2008 at 9:49pm —
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Sorry, Probably going to be a kind of long blog entry
Earlier this week I have been really really depressed in the weird hopeless ways I remember feeling some times before. The way I felt was like I hated myself and I hated everything about conscious experience, like I just wanted to not be conscious and its hard to explain and to put in the context of the teachings of Abraham, but I eventually got out of it last night and did some fun creative processes as I was in the place of knowing when I…
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Added by Joshua on July 19, 2008 at 2:53pm —
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Heh, a little embarrassed I had not logged onto the co creators social network probably over ten days but had been developing the art privatively for a little while, I had just came back from seeing an Indian sat guru named Sri Mata Amritanandamayi Devi (people call her Amma) which was something i had been doing really since last year, its worth mentioning only because I had an insane stressful horrible time because my whole family was there and i had to be in a hotel room and with the whole asp…
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Added by Joshua on July 2, 2008 at 1:31am —
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I have been in such a state of appreciation this morning. I have been getting back into EFT the past few days, finding it much more effective now having better understanding of it and how it works. I had started to find and remember some of the things conditioning me into doing the little crazy things I do and feel (a lot like hypnosis I think) and had just been relieving myself of some of it. Feels pretty good. I also finished another Abraham book this morning, and started to find some of her t…
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Added by Joshua on June 19, 2008 at 8:56am —
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I am beginning to get the hang, or at least understanding of the "allowing" thing that Abraham writes and talks about, and hopefully I should remember really well if I am to ever get anywhere with deliberately intending things (and I am to do that). From the way I am understanding (and I notis this often but I am just trying to remember it more clearly to go back to it) is that, people talk and write about the matter and space thing not being solid and concrete, I get much relief in remembering…
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Added by Joshua on June 12, 2008 at 10:29am —
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I feel better, I am relieved, I have been angry and complaining for the past few days it's been really stupid but I am getting much relief. I have been so rude to my family directly and in talking about them (not really as much on here but elsewhere). My view is has changed (as it dose often, things are contently changing and it always means progress) and if it whereat for the other crazy angry view it wouldn't have changed so beautifly. It's been about not having to hate something weather its t…
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Added by Joshua on June 8, 2008 at 6:01am —
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I'm sorry, more on trying to understand that I am independent.. I wish my parents didn't think they could read me, they think they can read me like a book like I have small basic caveman emotions but I don't feel like I am feeling the way they try to tell me I am, they usualy tell me I am in denile when I tell them thats not the way I am. She asks my what I was trying to get out of her in asking like my asking was pointless and I try to tell her that no one likes to be misunderstood and that she…
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Added by Joshua on June 4, 2008 at 10:00pm —
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For the past few days I have been trying to understand as I've read and been told by some, and as I believe, is that I am already independent from my parents that they shouldn't effect weather or not I am happy especial up to this point, and I had been anticipating the incite to come to me soon, it seems it might be happening maybe gradually.. I remember what use to upset me is that my mom always wants me to know that she and her husband have so much control over me, that they can take away my t…
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Added by Joshua on June 3, 2008 at 5:18pm —
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I felt weird today, and yesterday I think, I am trying my best to remember clearly.. I have this strange chronic feeling of unworthiness and I am realizing again and again how I feel it all the time but I feel like I am coming close to understanding it in the appropriate moment I am ready. I feel like I am always "In trouble" (the way the phrase is used with or by children when they have done something bad and are facing the consequences for it, like punishment) and also like I am not allowed to…
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Added by Joshua on June 1, 2008 at 2:34am —
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Today both of my parents where off, so we wanted to do a bunch of chores which is always good, I like to see the house cleaned.. As we cleaned I would do little things I would normally, anytime, like take out the trash, and my dad would thank me like he was surprised, I would get openly upset with him and tell him I didn't like it and why, as I do all the time, and he acted like he didn't get it, he didn't understand it, it seemed like no one did.. I wonder if anyone else is like that, or at lea…
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Added by Joshua on May 27, 2008 at 10:57pm —
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I'm either becoming or beginning to notis I am pretty emotionally sensitive, and I worry people think it's a bad thing, almost like making for a bad person. Some examples are thing are getting upset or grossed out about something in a movie but at the same time not being like someone like.. "You have to be good" or "nice", I cant really explain what I am talking about, I just know that I don't like getting into discussions about violent people or situations (a lot of people around me seem to jus…
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Added by Joshua on May 25, 2008 at 9:03pm —
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The Internet In my room has been down for a long time, sense a bad thunderstormhere, It is actualy still down, (using someone elses computer) which or some if any reason left me feeling powerless. I am pretty dependent on the internet and it seems to slow things down without that access which I am sure seems strange, I am a little embarrassed.. I basically didn't do to much but read Abraham books which was great but recently (Like that past few weeks) I've been extremly worried about seeming laz…
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Added by Joshua on May 23, 2008 at 8:08pm —
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Yesterday was my seventeenth birthday which seemed award because of myself esteem, I wanted to tell people "My birthday is an awful day for people who know me well". It seem like people where trying to please me but I worried that I either disappointed them or made them uncomfortable, so I spent the day worrying about how everyone else was and weather or not they were having a bad time it was really weird, and I cried that night, but that was weird too, because It was the kind that was silent wi…
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Added by Joshua on May 11, 2008 at 10:30pm —
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I have had doubts I am even doing anything right but refuse to quite and start over or something, and it feels nice to watch the 100 day calender, and to know I'm in a challenge season, I cant really explain it. One thing I've noticed happening is that I take notis to when I am not happy, and what I am doing to cling to that, without realizing before, I would then decide its better to decide to happy, which seems much harder than it sounds when you are use to unhappiness and limitation. I am afr…
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Added by Joshua on May 6, 2008 at 7:04pm —
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I started day one of my first season and I was far to shy to do a video today, I'm not even sure what I am doing to make the change necessary for manifesting what I want, but there seems to be a change in vibration today, just for technically starting, I guess the difference may be that I registered on hear for it, and made a calender to mark the days off, if the calender says I've started I guess I have. I am sorry I didn't have much to say but I look forward to seeing what happens. I don't mea…
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Added by Joshua on May 4, 2008 at 6:37pm —
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