Hello Mother,
Hello Father,
Hello to all of you too.
I've figured out
that life is upside down.
I've figured out
that love comes 'round
and misses me
completely.
I've summed it up
and I gave up
'cause holding on
depletes me.
But before I lay down tonight,
I dream of an open heart
that comes to me
through broken dreams
and completes me.
And I've never seen one here before,
I've heard of the tales,
I've read of the lore,
but I believe an open heart
completes me.
I've been stupid,
I've been smar…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on August 3, 2009 at 12:46pm —
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100th Day
Good evening, co-creators!
I have some amazing news for you. While I was not around to post my 100th day blog, I am happy to announce that I have landed an amazing long-term contract with a gentleman who owns over thirty web sites-- I am gainfully employed again, and I could not be happier with the results. I landed the contract on Day 100. I am pleased to say that this has proven to be an amazing chance for me to rebuild my portfolio from scratch with amazing web sites.
Over…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on July 29, 2009 at 4:01am —
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After losing the relationship with Paul just two days ago, I have 21 days to make a difference.
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Added by Joshua Peterson on June 24, 2009 at 4:45am —
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Seventy-two days into my current season, I've perpetuated the same issues I had in my last season. In the midst of this turmoil, I've learned several important things but maintain my naivety. I'm young and erratic with my focus in life. I find my heart directing me to random places, from relationship to job to enjoyment with friends; it doesn't bother me until the focus has disintegrated before my eyes. But I appreciate that I'm more sensible about my responsibility, and more importantly underst…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on June 17, 2009 at 7:24pm —
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Isabel Allende: Tales of Passion - TED.com
Isabel Allende is an author and feminine activist; and in the video link provided above, she gives us an amazing insight on the eccentricities of passion. Apart from the reality that women around the world suffer on a daily basis from the hands of oppression, Isabel takes a stand for empowering the passion in every person.
Conforming to the societal norms perpe…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on April 10, 2009 at 7:36am —
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After reconciling with Stephen, I'm anxious to see if the man I've discovered between the lines is the same man who will kiss me for the first time. I have two possible outcomes, and either way, I love him:
A) His first action is to treat it like the meeting of a lifetime; a big hug, kiss, and a few special words.
or
B) A bit stand-off, awkward silence, uneasiness, lack of comfort in my presence.
If it's the first one, I'll know it's worth trying to work out. If it's the second one, I know I…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on April 9, 2009 at 6:03am —
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This morning, I was faced with a choice: treat myself with enough respect to deserve better than to take the back seat to everything trivial that Stephen has in his life, or allow myself to lose everything I know me to be in order to have him in my life.
The emotional stress culminated in me hurting myself physically for the first time in nearly 3 years. At that point, I realized that I had to end this relationship. If I was neglected and offended enough to reach the point of putting a blade to…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on April 6, 2009 at 11:38am —
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Contrary to my personality, I love speaking; I enjoy talking about, and approaching topics that people, including myself, have a difficult time resolving, or finding a work around to.
Last night, during a talk with Stephen, it was safely concluded that being involved with some form of counseling or psychology work should be my life's work. When I wake up every morning, I think about the issues that people face on a day-to-day basis- the simple things that can seemingly destroy a person's faith…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on April 1, 2009 at 3:05pm —
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Today, after a few days of pure joy, I've decided to begin my 3rd Season. The last few months have been an incredibly melancholy time, but I'm glad that I've had the rest to deal with some of the events from my 2nd Season that were unfortunate.
I look forward to building an amazing relationship with Stephen; receiving my GED, and finding work that I enjoy but maintain a healthy work life in. It was suggested that I pick a few small goals- things that I can easily achieve by a simple change in m…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on March 31, 2009 at 9:57pm —
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At times, we all wonder if life likes to make a mockery of us, because as I lay down last night, TLC happened to be airing a show about the "smartest people in the world". The entire show was a little too much to turn away from because, for once in a long while, I didn't feel this extreme urge to change the channel or shut off the television. In most cases, I will avoid watching television shows where I think the lead character is handsome, I'll avoid talking with people who are fluent in a lang…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on February 12, 2009 at 6:50am —
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I don't get around too often to write about what has recently happened in my life. I've really reached a point where I, personally, don't want to get up and look in the mirror. It's like staring at everything that could possibly go wrong; you see every issue you face and all the open ends you've yet to cover. It's that tunnel missing the light you wish you could just easily replace with a flashlight, but you couldn't come up with the money for the flashlight even if the idea worked; and knowing…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on February 4, 2009 at 1:59am —
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I failed to really go into detail about this to all of you here, but earlier this month, I submitted my new book "The Diary of Kay" to a literary agency with hopes of obtaining an agent. Needless to say, the entire experience has been on par with a rollercoaster ride.
It took me three days to gather a good, but not best, section of my novel to submit, review, revise, and later submit. My query letter was, in all actuality, only 2 paragraphs long, but I sold them enough on the idea to gain their…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on January 6, 2009 at 11:22pm —
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While I enjoy the evening as it passes further on into the wee hours of the far-early morning, I want to take some time to open up about where I'm at personally right now.
In light of everything that has happened in my life recently, I'm actually just fine. I'm looking forward to changes that will come with 2009, and I'm looking forward to finishing the new album [which is in the very same vein as some of my previous releases, but still quite different]; I'm looking forward to editing and rewri…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on December 18, 2008 at 4:29am —
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While on this journey, I held the sands of time as they sifted through my fingers.
Every grain played a musical tune that my heart felt in its grace.
And in one moment, I was whole,
And in that same moment, I felt the sun's rays deliver peace to me.
Yes, I walk in white robes, nearly translucent,
But the skies have not beaten down on my body
In the ways that my soul has been beaten by feelings shed.
Asleep beneath these skies lies:
The pastures of green,
The trees of great height,
The waters o…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on December 16, 2008 at 2:37am —
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So, today's journey is pretty much coming to a close.
I'm just a mess of emotional substance right now. Whenever you want to feel human, just let everything around you affect you on a level you didn't think it would at any point in your life again.
This whole mess has just been like a slap in the face. I did everything I possibly could to help these two out, and I feel like I've been failed on all fronts. I've lost what I considered to me my only liberation in life- and right at a moment that…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on December 4, 2008 at 11:47pm —
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Starting off, I'll be losing my apartment either in a week or two or a month. It's not something that makes me incredibly upset, it's just that the situation I'm in right now has caused me enough problems.
As much as I care about my friends, it's not my job to pick them up and see them through post-jail after they get busted for possession of heroine and other opiates. And, to add to that fact, everything that I've done up to this point to help them has cost me both financially and mentally. I'…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on November 27, 2008 at 12:40am —
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I wasn't expecting my best friend to show up at random today after I spent 5 hours this morning neglecting sleep to clean my apartment from top to bottom because of an annual inspection tomorrow. But, right as I lay down to try to catch at least a few hours of sleep, my doorbell rings and this friend has nowhere to really go.
It's fine. But at the same time I'm sitting here, no sleep since yesterday, and I still have to get ready for work. On top of that, I'm not in the mood to split my time be…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on November 18, 2008 at 8:52pm —
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I sincerely apologize to all of my fellow co-creators for not following up more often than I do, but I have been
swamped with writing my new book.
I have decided to stay committed to the NaNoWriMo competition this year, and I'm loving every minute that I get to see my book expand and grow. As of right now, I have reached 153 pages. I expect the book to double in size before I go through revisions on it, the rewrite, and then we will all keep our fingers crossed as to whether or not I cou…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on November 17, 2008 at 8:31pm —
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I don't care about work right now. I'm completely in a different world right now. I'm riding high, enjoying every ounce of beautiful pleasure I feel in this song "Hide & Seek" by Imogen Heap. I'm listening to the EnMass Trance mix of this song.
We all have choices to make, and since my work is not paying off for me right now, I'm going to find my happiness in things that mean the world to me. One of those things is being able to let the stress go and know that, even though I'll walk in late…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on November 9, 2008 at 11:26pm —
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The Law of Attraction does exist! And it happens in the strangest ways! I was at work last night, listening to Louise Hay, and a very attractive guy - out of nowhere- sent his friend over to get my phone number. I got a phone call from the guy about an hour later, but was unable to take it because I was working. But I was focusing on being good and happy, and everything that I felt became a reality right before my eyes.
Later on, though, I didn't hold on to that... and I ended up almost…
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Added by Joshua Peterson on November 9, 2008 at 9:33pm —
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