reaching the heart

[Claire]

How do survivors of trauma ( eg abuse etc) reach and heal their hearts completely?
Overall, I like to think I am a positive person, making positive changes in my life, but I often feel that it doesn't quite reach my heart, that I have an slightly anxious, nervous "hole" for want of a better word in my heart, at times. I do the positive affirmations, I do the right thought and action, and while I have healed my own life tremendously, achieving previously unimagineble things, sometimes that just feels like paddling on the surface, while the "inner child" is fearful and "running away"?

[Sarah]

Very Very Well put Claire.

I can tell you how I managed to heal that hole, that anxiety, and over all fear. It took a lot of time, a lot of research, and a lot of courage. I had to allow things to digest. The consequences of what you read or undestand now, will reach your heart tomorrow. Or better yet, it takes a while to digest and start living it, instead of just understanding it.
It feels like that, and that is exactly it. One thing that really changed everything, was analising my chieldhood. Understanding and forgiving my parents... realizing they were only people, doing the best they could.

Have you analized your chieldhood? The first thing we do to heal ouserflves now is understanding the recent traumas (thta's what I did anyway), the ones that really happened, like violence, heartbroken, any of those things. But I think the trick to reaching that inner child, and allowing it not to be afraid, is analyzing why it is afraid in the first place.

We all are scared by our past. Things that happened when we were children, make the conduct for out life patterns. Its the subtle things. Like I unserstood I had a fear of being abandoned, and thats what i was projecting onto every relationship, when i tried to get why (besides the obviously reason of my father never being present), mas my mother never really gave me FULL on attention. She was always busy, going to work, or just wantinng to sit quietly resting. Now... I see this. My call for having someones attention, was my baby self (lol) still trying to get my mothers full afection. Not feeling like I was supurfluous, or too much. Like people would leave me. When you can identify the problem clearly, you can see how silly it is and heal those past scars.

Then your inner child will stop being afraid. :) I have a thousand more tiny examples of things like this. Its the little emotions people provoked on you, that started to make you to hide who you really are. I think children are the most alive people ever. they are free from prejudice, criticism, free form fears... They have only love.

I Hope this is helpfull. It was my final step.... :) understanding all those feelings imposed onto me, that made me start having fear. This is what provoked the ego, as a protection i believe.

I have been studying this for my book. I am tracing all the steps i took, to reaching this state of total freedom and love. I have never been more creative in my life. I am thankful and grateful.

Love,
Sarah

Love,
Sarah

[kevin kennedy]

hea Sara i just read the message you left for Clare ,this hole like feeling can be filled by any body who is a friend , so we are both Clares friends so we can imagine this fear going out of Clares heart and being replaced with emerald green for the heart chacra and and supportive thoughts we are not alone and we do not need to bee afraid its important to project this . kev

[Jilly]

Hi Claire, I guess I could say I disagree with Sarah in regards to looking back and reliving and rehashing the past to understand it. The Law of Attraction is living in the NOW. No looking back on the old ugly baggage. You are the creator of your distiny NOW. Look forward to the wonderful future. The Law of Attraction teaches us that ANXIOUS/HERVOUS/FEAR is characteristics of seperating yourself from the Universe. You want to be one with the Universe.
So dont go back, move forward and LET GO of the past. Fix your eyes on the intentions of your heart NOW and expect that those wonderful intentions are on the way. Be excited in the anticipation of the recieveing from the Universe.
Have you ever planned an exciting vacation...weeks before you were to go. In those weeks before you were so excited about the trip, you shared it with other, you planned for that trip and prepared yourself to recieve it and in all that you were so excited and the excitement mounted. That is the feeling that the universe wants you to have in anticipation of what you are manifesting. There are good things to come. Dont Separate yourself. Hugs to you my friend. JILLY

[Claire]

Well I agree with everything you have said, but I ask myself "how? sometimes. It is one thing to know intellectually what you want to do, but quite another to try and change emotion. I DO consciously choose positive affirmations and I get on with things and I try to change the way I feel, but it seems when people say "follow ur heart" you dont know what it means, because sometimes I don't know how I feel, just a low-level panic and then more panic, because I am aware of the law of attraction, so obviously I dont WANT to attract things on that level of vibration!
Often survivors watch everyone's else's lives and think "why haven't I got that?" - eg family etc and I'm aware that that is focusing on "lack". Doing meditations, affirmations and making conscious thoughts and choices is all part of my daily work, but sometimes it feels like icing on a rotten cake lol?