Sabotaging yourself

[Xenia]

Hello,

as some of you might know one of my intentions for this season is weight loss. I'm on day 16. So far I have had both good and bad days concerning food/weight loss. When I started I was optimistic that I could manifest that. But the last past days have been everything else but good for me. First of all I started eating a lot of "unwanted" food again. That means though my intention was not to eat them because I know they do nothing good to me, I can't stay away from them, f.e. pastries. At work I just can't say NO. Actually I discovered that I don't want to say NO. I want to eat them. This for me sounds like self-sabotage. On the one hand I want to give my body the optimal nutriton therefore the right foods, but on the other hand I feel like my soul needs all that unhealthy stuff. I just can't let go of sweet stuff. I will even keep eating it after a good, full meal. Especially after work I come home and I have this new habit: getting out the pies and eating them in front of the TV to calm oneself down, as a reward, to maybe harm onself - I don't always know why I'm doing it.
Yesterday I made the mistake of stepping on the scales. I felt as if I were at least 6 pounds lighter but then the truth showed up. It was so disapointing. Last time I went on the scales was about a month ago. And I felt great about myself in the meantime (a few days excluded). But after I'd seen the numbers on that damn scale yesterday I feel fat, ugly, swollen ,... now.
Though somehow my cloths still feel lose, loser than the last time when I had that weight.
Does anyone of you experience self-sabotage? What do you do then? How can I use LOA to help myself instead of sabotaging? Is the self-sabotage just a sign of bad, negative thoughts and emotions, so LOA is working "against" me?
Well, propably if I hadn't any weight issues I wouldn't care. So if I try to see something positive about that, then it's the fact that now I have the chance of overthinking my eating habbits and discovering a new, healthier lifestyle which will give me good health outlook.

[Sonia Johnstone]

Hi there I soooo relate to some of your concerns i am just learning myself and some of the learning for me has been to keep saying the positive affirmations and really practise daily looking at my slim photos feeling the good feelings of being my healthy weight of 9 stone especially when I want to sabotage my progress I used a similar method when I became a non smoker every time that I really wanted a smoke especially in the first few weeks I kept saying positive affirmations it wasn't easy but it worked gosh the power of the mind the more that I used the positive tool the stronger the messages became and now 11months later I don't miss poisoning my body with tabacco at all I'm free its wonderful and didn't believe that this could happen but it has and now my affirmations are slowly starting to happen around my wanting to be physically healthy I am aware that the process has its moments but we can do this by supporting each other in our group, so thank you for your honesty it help me sooo much hang in there and have a lovely day I send you lots of good energy joy and big hugs. Cheers Sonia J

[Teresa]

I totally get where you are at. I have a habit of eating before bed. My daughter goes to sleep and I finally have time to myself. I tend to relax with a book and then eat. Yep. I have decided however, that sweets are what trip me up in this health journey. So, i have decided I am not going to eat them. Radical, I know. I have removed all the cookies/pies/cakes/candy from my home and now have the intention of not eating sweets. I do eat protein bars, which are sweet sometimes, but I am workiing toward choosing when I want to enjoy something sweet, rather than NEEDING something sweet. It's hard, but I have discovered that I was substituting something sweet, because I was lonely. I still am, but taking care of my health is my first priority. I figure I will attract healthy people into my life, as I get healthy. So, how about just setting a limit for eating sweets...only at work? only at home? only outside of both? That can work, so you feel like you have some control over them.. Don't give up! Health is worth it!

[Sonia Johnstone]

Hi there Yes I am taking it all one step one day at a time just like you I'd say that I am nearly at that place of surrender and just keep focusing on my affirmations and the photo of me at 9stones. Lets keep intouch about our progress I've sent you a picture of a sunset simular to the one we had here in Christchurch New Zealand the other day it was sooo beautiful and spiritual, Blessings and warm thoughts to you and your family. Arohamai SoniaJ

[Tanya]

I have two thoughts, one, the scale is only a number, your clothes are more accurate. You may be gaining muscle which weights more than fat. The other thought is that pie as a reward is only one possible reward. What do you do for you? Maybe this is the time of day to review what you are grateful for and to plan what wonderful things you are going to do for you. A pedicure, a good book, ? What do you do for you that makes you feel great? Food is only one way to express love, comfort, self indulgence.
Self sabatage can be a signal to look deeper. What would happen if you lost the weight? Are you afraid of not being able to eat what you want? Feeling rebellious? Sometimes it's the most riddiculous stuff. I was working on decluttering and couldn't figure out why I was sabataging myself. Then I realized that I like the room we sleep in now. If I decluttered we'd move into the master bedroom that had too much light! We redid the doors and got rid of the windows above and now I'm looking forward to moving into that room and have moving ahead with the declutter. And sometimes it's really scary deep stuff. Do you feel safe to be thin and beautiful? This is an issue for me. If I'm overweight, no one will bug me. If I lose weight, will I be safe?

[firstlove]

Tanya has a lot of great information there and I would agree wholeheartedly with her comments.

I have a few thoughts to add, THE SCALES! DO NOT become a slave to the scales.
They are only numbers and tell yourself “I’m not scared of a number”
Go by how you feel, after all it’s your feelings that you have to live with and carry around all day,
not a set of scales.

The other thought was you mention the word “Habit” habits can cause a lot of pain in our lives,
create a new habit, come home from work make a lovely healthy drink of some sort and relax in the bath
listening to tranquil music and reflecting on your day and unwinding.
You only have to do it a few times for it to become a new habit.

Self-sabotage? means a lot of different things to different people.
I recently discovered that my self-sabotage was imprinted into my brain as a small child, I remembered
sitting on a log in the garden drumming into my head a scolding that an adult, many adults actually,
had told me. I came up with the conclusion that I was just too naughty to deserve anything good.

So, for all these past years, my self-sabotaging has come from an ingrained belief that I didn’t deserve – didn’t
deserve what? – ANYTHING

Now my affirmation is “I AM DESERVING”

I too have weight issues, I am working on them and now with my new found lesson I can use the Law of Attraction
to assist, by visualizing and affirmations as Sonia above has suggested, doing what I can to eat more healthy
and begin an exercise programme. Create a specific vision board, and keep in touch with my friends on Co-creators.
Recognizing that their support and wisdom is also one way that the LOA is working for me in this regard.

and Xenia, dont beat yourself up, if you have an off day and eat something you feel you shouldnt have, just
acknowledge that and carry on with the healthier plan.
Guilt leads to anger, anger leads to not giving a damn and not giving a damn leads to eating more unhealthy.


and lastly, you asked Does anyone of you experience self-sabotage?
the answer is, Only ALL of us.