Exercises from Chapter 1 and 2: What have been your past "cop-out phrases"?, List Don't Want, List Do Wants

[Elaine]

Here goes.

Cop out phrases... hmm, I've been doing this LOA thing for a while now, I don't know if I am really allowing myself to cop out as much but now... I think I will skip this exercise.

Don't Want

I don't want negative drama in my relationship.
I don't want men who judge or criticize me for any reason.
I don't want unreliable men.
I don't want a dishonest man.
I don't want a boring man.
I don't want a man with troublesome friends and family.
I don't want men with financial or legal troubles.
I don't want men who use drugs.
I don't want a man who is cold or indifferent to me.
I don't want an effeminate or weak man.

Do want:

I want and exciting and energizing relationship that is also stable and safe. I want to feel calm and peaceful.

I want a man who accepts and loves me for who I am, is compassionate to me for errors I have made or continue to make, and who has compassion and empathy for women in general.

I want a man who has his act together and is able to be where he says he will be and call when he says he will call. I want someone who will make whatever extra effort necessary to follow through on things he has planned.

I want a man who communicates kindly, but honestly. I want him to have an honest relationship with others in his life and with me.

I want a man who enjoys conversation, travel, and has hobbies and interests. I want someone who can introduce me to a few enjoyable new activities.

I want a man who has supportive, loving, open, friendly, people in his life. I want a man whose family and friends like me, approve of our relationship, and support us in being together.

I want a man who keeps his affairs in order. I want a man with financial stability and a good track record for being a productive member of society. I want a man who cares about being responsible and accountable because he cares about others.

I want a man who enjoys social situations where alcohol is served but who doesn't become intoxicated. I want a man who always stays clear of hard drugs.

I want a man who is crazy about me. I want a man who is affectionate, loving, great in bed, I want a man who can't get enough of me.

I want a man who is strong, masculine, and competent in man things.

[joanna]

I will work on this today Elaine and post later. Love this exercise. It always comes back to what we DO want doesn't it.

[joanna]

Oddly, it was harder to do the don't wants. I really just wanted to write the do wants.

Don't Want:

Don't want a boring relationship.
Don't want a boring sex life.
Don't want an uptight serious boyfriend.
Don't want to be with someone who I find physically unattractive.
Don't want someone I am ashamed of.
Don't want an uncommitted relationship.
Don't want to feel unspecial.

Do Want:

I have an exciting passionate fun filled relationship that brings me joy, peace, and endless happiness.

I have a fantastic sex life that fufills me at a soul level. My partner is daring and willing to explore new avenues of sexual expression.

I have a creative, fun, joyous partner who is laid back, easy going. We laugh together and our relationship is an expression of joy.

I love the way my partner looks. I am phyically attracted to him on all levels. I love having them by my side and introducing them to everyone. I am filled with pride and devotion.

I have a loving committed relationship. We are committed partners through life seeing each other through all of lifes ups and downs.

I feel special, adored, and loved. My partner is affectionate, open, and loving. I feel alive and filled with love. Life keeps getting better and better.

[Elaine]

I am always inspired by the way you describe your soul mate relationship, Sparrow. It's really is a beautiful kind of love you are putting out there... almost makes me want to go back an upgrade mine. ;)

[alison]

Hey Joanna, I think we want the same man! lol! ...No, I know and I trust, there are thousands like the one you described. I have to buy that book and join in with you all, looks like good work your dong here.

[CreativeConqueror]

I am definitely going to do these exercises and post here. Just waiting for my book to arrive.

[Elaine]

Awesome, CreativeConqueror!

I am looking forward to reading about your soul mate.

[Elizabeth]

Cop-out Phrases

I’m not lucky enough

Don’t Wants

I don’t want someone who pressures me into doing things I don’t want to
I don’t want someone who makes me feel unimportant
I don’t want someone I would be ashamed to introduce to my parents

Do Wants

I want a soulmate who loves me
I want a soulmate who shares and respects my values
I want a soulmate who will protect me
I want a soulmate whom I completely trust
I want a soumate who makes me feel confident in myself
I want a soulmate who makes me laugh
I want a soulmate I find physically attractive

[CreativeConqueror]

My primary copout phrase was "All men leave." I know that's not true.

I don't want someone who is ambiguous about their feelings about me.
I don't want someone who does not ask me out on dates.
I don't want someone who is inconsiderate.
I don't want an uncommitted, casual sexual relationship.
I don't want a man who is mentally, physically, emotionally or financially abusive.
I don't want a partner who has substance abuse issues.
I don't want a partner who does not want to be married.

I do want a partner who actively listens to me
I do want a partner that loves the Lord
I do want a partner that is intriguing, intelligent, considerate, confident, assertive and attractive to me
I do want a partner that is creative and plans actual dates for us
I do want a partner who is family oriented but may not have his own family yet
I do want a partner that lights up when he sees me!
I do want a partner that has a great sense of humor and is not afraid to be silly with me.
I do want a partner who shares some of my interest and is willing to travel and try new things with me.

[joanna]

I finally got the book. I have a lot of cop outs.

* I don't believe in love anyway.
* I will never be perfect enough.
* There is fundamentally something very wrong with me.
* I will never get over him.

[joanna]

Forgot

* I am too old.
* I missed my chance.
* It's too late for me.
* No one will love me.

(Let me know when all of you are suitably depressed. lol!)

[Elaine]

Too old!?? Don't make me crawl through the computer and pinch you!

[Elaine]

Of course this is just a joke. None of your co-outs are true!