Unexpected pregnancy. What do you understand about this on a spiritual level? Please offer support

[Elaine]

Hello everyone.

Someone I know (ahem) has recently discovered that she is pregnant by a man who she is not seeing anymore because they were incompatible. He wants her to have an abortion and is being quite an ass about it but she doesn't want to do it.

She 1) just doesn't want to allow a doctor into her uterus to destroy the life in there and 2) believes that for this child to have made it around his vasectomy and her infertile time, then it must have a very strong will to live and who is she to prevent this child who has a great mission in this world. He is so much against the whole thing that she can't even talk to him anymore.

Please share any words of wisdom you might have on this subject.

[Sonia Johnstone]

Kia ora honey hey this is such a sensitive area good on you for reaching out to your friends & gathering some feed back I'm not sure whether this will be helpful or not but here goes I would like to share my experience with you I have been in a similar position some years ago my partner didn't want any more children plus I had been quite ill at the time, I wanted to have our baby but the support just wasn't there I was feeling really vunerable spiritually emotionally & physically. I did go ahead with the abortion this decision left me feeling guilty ashame angry & sad to say the least it has taken me a number of years to forgive myself & my husband, Prayer, time & therapy has helped me to heal especially spiritually, there is more that I have experienced in this area but I think that I have shared enough I send BBBig hugs & blessings to you & your friend take good care lovely lady Arohamai SoniaJ xoxox

[Elaine]

Thank you for sharing this with us. I have complete compassion for people who make that decision because I know it is a hard one to come to and one that people only do when they really think it is for the best. I am happy to hear that you have come so far in healing and thank you for allowing your struggle to become wisdom that can serve others.

[Me Me]

Ask your friend to take a deep breathe and look in the mirror and ask herself what is important to her, what is it that she want to do. Once that decision has been made....nothing else should matter. All the pieces will fall into place.

I know people who have been in this similar situation and they said having an abortion is an emotional, depressive experience expecially if it's not what you truly want. If your friend is okay with doing so, it may not be as tramatic.

Tell her to follow her heart.

[Elaine]

Thanks Me Me. You know, since I have been practicing my spirituality and learning about the LOA, I have been affirming that my life's purpose is to become successful and happy by helping others to become successful and happy. I thought about my situation and how fortunate I am to have so many loving and supportive friends, all of them excited about the pregnancy regardless of what the father thinks. I realize that I am very fortunate.

In this pregnancy I would like to reach out and support other woman who are going it alone in any way that I can. I will be their friend and help them to get through this.

[Melissa]

Hi Elaine. Sorry that its been so long since I've posted anything. I think that this would be a really hard position for anyone to be put in. I think that the person who is unexpectedly pregnant has to decide for herself what she wants for herself and the baby. I don't think that the man being an ass should have a real say in this. His motives for the abortion are only for his own selfish reasons. He doesn't want to have to take responsibility. I think that if the baby worked that hard to come here in the first place, they deserve to stay :)

I fully believe that things happen for a reason.

Take care, and I truley know that everything will be just fine in the long run.

Melissa

[Elaine]

Thank you Melissa.

You are so right about what you are saying. I think it is not a mistake that when a baby is conceived, it is hidden safely inside the uterus of a woman. That is for her to take care of, since the beginning of all time it has been happening like that.

Things are happening for a reason and I choose to believe that this is a blessing. The drama that surrounds it will pass and what will remain is a wonderful child who will be the light of our lives. I always remember that one day he/she will have unique abilities, his or her own goals, make unique contributions, be the love of someone's life, be someones mother or father.

How crazy would it be not to make the decision to let life be.

[Janine]

Life is given for a reason. Yes, its hard going alone without the father, but not impossible and I'm sure the child will be such a blessing in its own way to the universe.
Its a big decision to make, but it sounds as if in your heart you already know your answer!
Love and Peace
Janine

[PinkPetals]

Hello Elaine,
I am sorry to hear that your friend is in such a tough situation. Upon reading your post I feel that this baby is perfect timing for your friend. Regardless of whether your friend decides to keep the baby, the baby will have an impact on your friends life. Absolutely everything happens for a reason. It's a tough decision either way but your friend has to look in the mirror and say absolutely out loud (and it's ok, no one will hear her) what will make her happy. That is all that matters, as someone else stated, the rest will fall into place. Whether it's emotional support, financial support, whatever it is. She should leave all other opinions (his) out of the equation. If your friend is spiritual, tell her ask for clarity. ^.~

[Elaine]

Thanks PinkPetals.

I really hear what you are saying by "Regardless of whether your friend decides to keep the baby, the baby will have an impact on your friends life." There is really no way around it once the baby has come into being.

While I think that any time anyone makes the choice to terminate a pregnancy should be respected, I am sorry to know that many of my friends who have done so have not been able to forget. The regret and sense of loss remains.

I look at my two wonderful children right now and know that I could have chosen to abort them too. Now I have to deal with caring, providing and loving them but if I had made another choice i would be dealing with the silence and the regret instead.

[Lori]

oh WOW !! I am in a very similar situation.... except I am with the guy now.... well here are the details.... I was/ am dating him and really having a great time just seeing where it leads but marriage and another child was the not even in my thought pattern anyway ..... I am now almost 4 months pregnant .... we are living together... but he too had been "fixed" 20 years ago.... he has a son that is 21 and my daughter is going on 16... I am 41 yrs young and he is 47 yrs old..... the only thing I know to do is embrace this situation because God must have a special plan for this child... but I will tell you that I have had a very hard time!! I will get the poor me's.... becuase summer is coming and I can not play and have all the fun that I was planning on having with friends.... no parties , drinking and dancing til the wee hours... insted I am buying really big clothes... huge bathing suits and thinking of what I am hungry for next!! I am better but sometimes get mad at myself and / or him for not getting checked but then I realize babies are a blessing and I was hand picked by God to be the mother of this child and hopefully one day I will understand why!! so good luck to you ... but I would never speak to that guy again.... get you a good supportive gal pal and live and love you new baby!! ... I am not saying it will be easy... cuz I raised my 1st child by my self... but it can be done!!! and to this day my daughter and I are very close and I am so very greatful for her!!! There is a reason God chose you to be this baby's mother and you need to embrace it and forget that selfish guy!! I will love and support you in anyway possible!!! GOOD LUCK

[Elaine]

Thank you for your kind words and support. I am hoping that my other kids will make having this baby easier. My teenager will be able to drive and run errand and my eight year old will provide lots of entertainment. Not to mention that now I make good money, work from home and would be glad to hire my babysitter to come full time if she is willing.

I feel the same way about missing out on the summer, though. I have continued to go out with friends and drink water but my body will clearly be pregnant looking by mid-summer. I have gotten to the point where I have told most of my friends and they are really supportive. But I am aware that the entire course of my life has changed.

Anyway, I just want to remind you to keep up the workouts and if you want to go out and dance, do it. The alcohol is really only a part of the fun of being out with friends, so you might as well enjoy what you can.

[DonnaOnTheBeach]

Big virtual hug to the someone you know. All I can add to the fabulous comments you've already had is: whatever decision someone you know makes, it's the right decision for her right now. As has been mentioned before here, the length of a life is no indicator of that life's impact, and whether that soul chooses to stay a few months somewhere warm and cosy, or 100 years on this mad planet of ours, it's already having an impact right here. Sending much love, hugs, postive thoughts, prayers and blessings to someone you know and her bump! xxx