Mirrored learning, observation, judgement and creativity

[Claire]

Okay, I have a question about using the people, events etc in your life as a mirror, whilst also not using judgement. We're told that we create our own realities and that people in our lives are really "mirrors" of us. We can learn a lot from this, adjusting our attitudes and approaches to life, as we see them mirrored in the people around us ( Louise Hay, Abraham Hicks, The Secret etc)
However to be truly positive we need to suspend judgement of others and events, by being really open first.
Deepak Chopra says " judgement and creativity don't go together" as soon as we judge another we make that person or thing "wrong". If we suspend judgement, we are practising openness and aligning ourselves with the creative spark/force of the universe. We know that the subconscious mind doesn't differentiate between ourselves and other people, so what we judge, say, criticise or praise about others, usually has a boomerang effect and is really what we think or say about ourselves - it is really the pattern going on inside ourselves.
So what I'm asking is, how can we adjust our own lives, patterns, outlooks etc, by using the people around us as mirrors without using judgement first?
Surely as soon as we say to ourselves "hmm yes that person is being critical, I need to look at where I could stop being critical or be more loving" we are judging to a certain degree?
Does anyone else know what I mean? lol

[carol nicholas]

Yes i understand what you mean,but cant we just observe a person without making a judgement.For example you may notice someone is wearing glasses thats not a judgement just an observation! so in the same way couldnt we notice that someone is being critical,unkind or whatever without the judgement?

[Claire]

Yes I see what you mean Carol, but who "decides" what is kind, critical etc - sometimes the presentation and the boundaries are unclear - as soon as you, "the observer "decides "what the person is being" you are making a judgement, no?