I need more friends, I'm so lonely and my heart hurts...Please help!

[Augusta]

So, I've been watching parts of this and I started thinking about friends and loneliness...How does friendships work? What makes a good friend? When do you "break up" with a friend? And how? I feel I have so many people I know, but not many I would share the things I do on this site...As a matter of fact, none of them know that I'm even on here...Or even know about this site...I don't feel like telling about it, in a way I feel they wouldn't understand...I'm going to start working on this, I just need to open my heart today and tell about how lonely I feel. It hurts in my stomach and my heart bleeds...Am I always gonna feel this way? I know I have "made my own bed", by being overly independent. Never wanted to receive help or whatever...My mentor says it's understandable from the way I was raised with a psychologically ill mother and a father/step-father with no backbone. I've been seen as the strongest, toughest and funniest girl when I'm about and about. I've been good at sports and in school. I'm a tall blonde and I've got interest for clothes and makeup- so I guess that what people perceive me as- is nothing like what the hell I've been having on my inside.

Even today, I'm very catious on facebook, but yesterday I tagged one of my friends in an old nice picture of us hugging. A few moments later, I saw that she had removed her tag...It felt like a stab for me...Ok, maybee she didn't like the picture, but couldn't she at least have said something about it? I just feel that this is her way of saying that I'm not good enough for her...That there is no room for me in her life...What could I do about this? Ask her? I just would feel so needy and so clingy, and that's not what I want to be....Why am I so vulnerable about such a small thing?

I want friends, real true supporting friends. How do I do that? I need all the help I can get, and would highly appreciate your views on this, and if you could suggest some exercises for me...

So many people are longing for a lover/partner...I jsu want some real friends...

Thank you for listening. Love

[Elisa]

Hi Dear Augusta:

I understand how you feel. A long time ago, I felt in the same way but I understood it was me that made people away from me. I said that I wanted more friends but I was talking about how lonely I was and how desesperately wanted a good friend.
When I saw the movie "The secret" I understood many things and then I started reading many books about how the LOA worked. I realized that I had to change the way I used to think. At the beginning it was hard because in spite of all my efforts nothing happened then one day I decided to do nothing just relax and try to be happy with me.
One video that really helped me was "You can heal you life" by Louise L Hay. She said that we had to love ourselves first and then we would received the best.

Another thing I did everyday was to say my affirmations like " I love and accept myself" I looked to myself in the mirror and repeat this phrase everyday. You need to be very discipline about it.

Don't worry and the most important is that you love yourself. I have a very wonderful video on my page in which Abraham told us how to enjoy life.

Live you life with passion and love. You have a friend on me.

With much love and light!

[Augusta]

Thank you so much! I will see those movies again. I've used then before, but for other things. It's so true. It starts with yourself. I'm so grateful for your response. I'll do that exercise. I'm smiling in my heart from your words!
LOVE
I'll check out that video!

[summer wilson]

Thank you Elisa, you have really touched my day, I have just wanted the Louise La Hay video,
Lots of love Sara XXX

[Ricky]

Hello my friend,you have come to the right place to find your self.change the way you think...
.I too had a hard time with friends..I attracted NEEDY people..when I learned that I had to love myself before I could ask anyone else to love me my life changed..

.Elisa is very right about the movie "The Secret" and "you can heal your life" (I have the book) You ARE WHAT YOU THINK...seems that you are putting alot into "Having a friend"

I belive that "Every thought is a brick that you lay in the path before you"

In the movie" What the Bleep Do We Know" they ask "have you ever looked at yourself through the eyes of someone else?" everyone always says what a great person I am... but I had to learn that myself...and belive it!
when you look at the big picture we are no more than a spec of dust! why worry! just Let go and BE HAPPY!
you now have found new friends that are willing to help you along the path..of loving yourself...enjoy the ride my friend...

[Augusta]

Thank you so much! I can't start to explain how this gives me joy. What you say is so interesting and I WILL do it.
LOVE

[Karmalife]

Hi there.
I'm very sorry you are feeling so lonely. I think we can all relate is one way or another.
You don't have to share this site with anyone, it's for YOU. I have a few people i consider "good friend" but none of them know abotu this site or my blog here since none of them are really into the LOA.
As for the Facebook thing, let me tell you what happened the other day- one of my good friend tagged ME in a photo and I removed the tag because I don't like showing full-body shots of myself. I sent her a message to explain why and that was that.
If this is still bothering you, I think you should send her a message to see what she says.
I do hope you can stay positive and not dwell on this.
Making friends isn't easy, I know. Especially after we reach a certain age and life takes us different places.
Maybe you should start intending to make new friendships. Put more energy into this and see what the Universe brings you.
Good luck,
Pauline

[Augusta]

Thank you so much! I think you are absolutely right. I do need to start intending new friendships. I'm so happy for your response!

[summer wilson]

Augusta, Since splitting from my boyfriend, not only did I lose a lot of my friends but I didnt especially have male friends.. I dont know if that is the case with you but I am really opening myself up to having great men who are supportive and just friends as well as opening up to wonderfull relationships with girlfriends.

Lots of love Sara X

[Gill Morrison]

Augusta....its good to read an open and candid blog.....often we hide behind a 'film' of 'everythings great' when it is not...I think the law of attraction is often misconstrued as passive.....it's not...

in physics, when attraction is present...it means that each object has properties that attract the other.....we fall to earth because our 'mass' is attracted to the earth's mass.....two objects experience attractive forces because their magnetic fields interact ....

so we each play a part....the things we want in our lives, and how we are....

I really recommend that you print out (as i have done and really benefitted from) the four agreements....this simple declaration has helped me enormously to understand my perspective in relation to others...what I can control, and what I cannot, and how i can be happy with that....ultimately, for me, everything comes back to rule 1...if you do that...you are doing the right thing.....

agreement 1

Be impeccable with your word - Speak with integrity. Say only what you mean. Avoid using the word to speak against yourself or to gossip about others. Use the power of your word in the direction of truth and love.

agreement 2

Don’t take anything personally - Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won’t be the victim of needless suffering.

agreement 3

Don’t make assumptions - Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

agreement 4

Always do your best - Your best is going to change from moment to moment; it will be different when you are healthy as opposed to sick. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, and you will avoid self-judgment, self-abuse and regret.

not everyone likes facebook, it doesn't suit all...and it really depends person to person....

my suggestion would be to meditate on the four agreements....make the rules your own by bringing them to mind over he next few days....i guarantee you'll see the world differently..

best of luck and let me know how you get on....

[Augusta]

Hi! Thank you very much for this. I will copy it and read it as a mantra! Really helpful advice! I'll keep in touch and tell you how it goes. I see a lot of hope!

[Carrie]

Hi Augusta!

I went through the same thing last Nov. and I started to make cocreative journal pages filled with pictures that meant "friendship" to me. I wrote all kinds of little sayings such as "Fun and Frivolous, we take long walks on the beach" I filled about four or five pages and this attracted in the EXACT type of friends I was looking for within two months. I am now forming very strong and supportive relationships with these women. If you do this make sure you put in all the qualities that you value in friends and FEEL it real! It will happen...I promise!!
Also you can try www.meetup.com
xoxoxox
Carrie

[Augusta]

Thats a great idea! I will do it! Thank you so much. I'm also very happy for you, that it worked!
LOVE